Triplets ≠ Cancer

14 Mar

We haven’t really blown our big news out to the world yet, believe it or not. We’ve only told our immediate family and one or two close friends. Er, and the internet. But other than that, no one.

But, man, it was hard enough to keep the news to ourselves when the wife discovered she was pregnant. And it became nearly impossible when it was confirmed we’re having triplets. Of course, that was weeks ago. And I’ll admit it, my final decision to create this blog to begin with was largely motivated by the fact that, damn it, I have to tell someone or I’ll pop.

Our plan is to go public with the news at the end of the first trimester, which is coming up in a couple of weeks. With the wife’s Lupus, the risk isn’t necessarily reduced at that point, as it is with normal pregnancies, but it’s still an important milestone and, I don’t know. We’re waiting. That’s all.

Keeping the news from my work is becoming problematic. I’m an advertising art director, which is a very busy job. Lots of long hours, evenings, weekends, little flexibility. Thus far, I’ve made it to every OB appointment the wife’s had and I keep blaming my time off from work on “doctor visits” due to a heretofore unnamed “medical situation”. It’s inevitably going to have to come out sometime soon, but, for now, I’m keeping the hounds at bay through vaguery.

Of course, now everyone I work directly with thinks there’s something direly wrong with me.

ME: I wound up canceling that Austin trip this weekend I told you about, but I still need to take Friday afternoon. Just letting you know in case you need to reach me this weekend for approval on those comps.

BOSS: Ok. You’re not going to Austin?

ME: No, but I can’t be in Friday afternoon. It’s, y’know, that medical thing I mentioned.

BOSS: I see. That’s still, uh, going on then.

ME: Yeah.

BOSS: …

ME: Sorry to be so vague about it. It’s just kind of a large, well, issue… and I only just told my family about it a couple of days ago and we’re… trying… ah, to get our heads around… it.

BOSS: Jesus. Are you okay?

ME: It’ll be fine. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

BOSS: Uh huh.

ME: I’ll be glad to have a conversation with you in the coming weeks to fill you in on what’s going on, but right now…

BOSS: No need! No need! None of my business! Whatever you’re comfortable, uh…

ME: Oh, no, it’s fine. I just can’t–

BOSS: Sure sure! No problem!

ME: Well… okay, then. Sorry.

BOSS: No no. You’re fine.

ME: …

BOSS: But, listen. Ah… I have a close friend who, ah… I mean, this may not apply to you at all. In fact, I hope it doesn’t. I mean… well. I don’t know. I’ll just say it: I have a close friend who’s battling cancer right now. And, man, it’s just a huge struggle. And I’m familiar because I watch what she’s going through. So, I understand if that’s… well, I mean… not saying that’s you… but if there’s anything even similar. That’s. Hm.

ME: Thank you. I appreciate that.

BOSS: Of course, yeah.

ME: It’s not cancer.

BOSS: Good! Phew!

ME: …

BOSS: …

ME: Well, I gotta take off.

BOSS: Have a good one.

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6 Responses to “Triplets ≠ Cancer”

  1. Esther March 15, 2011 at 2:40 am #

    When I finally told my advisor, he was shocked I managed to hide it so long, especially since I was so incredibly sick. I spilled the beans around 3 months, and every person in the psychology department knew by the end of the day. I mean everyone. And it’s not a small department. Random psychological researchers at universities around the U.S. and abroad know, too. It’s certainly taken over my identity. Be prepared for that when you tell people, we were both very surprised by the impact it made!

    • Jeremy March 15, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

      Gah. I feel like I hear a similar story fairly consistently from other parents of triplets. It’s weird, crazy news and it spreads quickly. We’ve noticed that certain members of our own family are having difficulty keeping a lid on it, so, as a result, some of our closest friends have no idea, meanwhile Ethel Rosenblatt who plays piano at the in-laws’ church knows all about it. (“We’ve only told people who we know will say prayers for the babies!” Ngh.)

      We’re discovering that it’s the sort of news that’s almost unfair to share with people if they have to keep it a secret. Maybe that’s overstating, but if we don’t spill it soon, it’ll spill itself.

      • Esther March 15, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

        Just wait. It’ll be the only thing anyone will talk to you about for a while!

        And be prepared for the “are they natural?” question, because you guys will hear it often once you spill the beans. I found that no matter what I say, some people simply won’t believe it!

        • Jeremy March 17, 2011 at 10:38 am #

          I’m already working on witty retorts. “There are 3 children living in my wife’s body at the same time. THERE’S NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT THAT.”

          Eh, it sounded better in my head…

  2. Chloe March 17, 2011 at 5:44 am #

    Hysterical! We wound up spilling the beans about our triplets a lot earlier than we would have with a singleton. But then, my work situation was kind of complicated (trying to start a new job AFTER finding out about the trips? what am I, crazy?), plus I’ve been pretty obviously showing for a couple of weeks (and I’m only at 14 weeks now).

    Wanted to say thanks for reading my blog, and I’m glad you and your wife have found it reassuring. I’ll definitely read through your past posts later on when I’m, er, not at work.

    • Jeremy March 17, 2011 at 10:41 am #

      Yeah, of course. Keep posting! I’ve slammed you into my own blog roll over there on the right, so others can check you out as well.

      Deep breaths, sister.

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