WIFE: Can you turn that off? I think I want to go to bed.
ME: You don’t want to watch the end of this? I think it’s almost over.
WIFE: I can’t keep my eyes open. Just pause it, we’ll finish it tomorrow.
ME: Well, I mean, I think there’s only… okay. Sure.
WIFE: C’mon, I’m tired. I can’t make it.
ME: I know, I know. It’s fine. No problem.
WIFE: No, what I need you to say is, “oh, honey, of course you should go to bed. You should get as much rest as you can. You’re working so hard carrying our three precious little ones around. They need so much right now and you’re doing all this by yourself. Whatever I can do, darling.”
ME: What do you mean “all by yourself”? I contributed something.
WIFE: Yeah, but I’m doing this all day, every day for months and months. Your contribution was, what, five minutes.
WIFE: Ten minutes at the most.