Home again

6 Jun

As of yesterday evening, Carey and I have returned to the homestead.

It’s an enormously difficult time for us and we’ve put together a few thoughts about our sons that we’ll likely post to the blogs shortly.  Still reading through the many prayers and sympathies offered by so many kind people, from family to dear friends to people who’ve never met us but clearly love us like their own.

A lot of folks have expressed how meaningless and inadequate they feel their words must be, but I hope you can trust me when I say that we’ve treasured every single note and we even find ourselves frequently encouraging each other with your words to us.  As I told my good friend Jon last night, the prayers and sorrow and hope and grief and anger and encouragement and questioning and tears you’ve shared have been unbelievably helpful because you’re expressing everything I wish I could express, but am lacking the focus and energy to do so.

All that’s to say, if you’re worried you’re going to say or do the wrong thing, please don’t.  If you care about us, we’ll know it and there’s no wrong way to express it to us.  (Actually, that’s not 100% true.  I received a chain message a few moments ago, telling me that Jesus would do something fantastic for me if I forward it to 13 friends.  I’ll admit it, could probably have done without that one.)

We’ve been asked what our immediate needs are, particularly in terms of prayers.  As you can guess, we have a very long season of grief ahead, but, in the short term, there are a great deal of practical matters that need to be addressed.  (Medicine stuff, legal stuff, mortuary questions, memorial plans, work and clientele communications, updating attendees about the shower cancellation, and, of course, the matter of the sizable amount of baby supplies that need to be returned and/or cancelled.)  We’re doing our best to give it the attention it requires, but it’s not easy.  So, thanks in advance for remembering us with those things.

Carey is, as you already know, a truly beautiful and courageous soul.  The most common thing I’ve been asked over the past couple of days is “how is your wife?”  Be encouraged that her physical recovery is, so far, going as well as can be expected. A lot of physical pain that she’s trying to stay ahead of with meds, but the mental exhaustion and need for rest is definitely taking its toll.  I’m going to spend most, if not all this week at home with her, hopefully helping her to get the recovery time she needs.

Thanks again for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  It’s appreciated now as much as ever.

22 Responses to “Home again”

  1. pam June 6, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    You and Carey haven’t been far from my thoughts for the past week. I hope her physical recovery continues so she doesn’t have to deal with that along with everything else.

  2. Tanya June 6, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    A friend told me about your struggles, and I just came over here to look at your blog.

    All I can say is that I’m so very sorry, and that those sweet little men are in heaven. That’s our only hope.

    Life stinks sometimes, and this is one of them. Praying for the peace that passes understanding.

    And I have one bit of advice … only “do” what you must right now. Don’t worry about returning baby things, etc. That’s not even necessary.

  3. Brandi McCrimmon June 6, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    My thoughts and prayers have been with, your wife and those 3 precious angels watching over you. I find myself thinking about your family every hour since reading about your tragic loss. Although never having met you, my heart is telling me you and your wife are amazing and stronger than anyone I know. My heart is breaking for you and pray you get through this with the strength and courage this difficult time will need. Bless you all!

  4. Joanie June 6, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    I am so very, very sorry. There are no words, only prayers. My heart hurts for you.

  5. Sarah Isley June 6, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    Jer – My words seem inadequate, but please know I’m praying for you and Carey. I simply can’t imagine what you are going through. Many of us are grieving your boys simply through following your story. I have no idea why this has all happened to you. I pray for comfort and peace. I also pray for all of the details that you must deal with in these next few days. This journey is not over …

    There’s a wonderful place in Wyoming that is designed for parents who have experienced the loss of a child or have a critically ill child. It’s called Faiths Lodge (http://www.faithslodge.org/). It might be a place to check out in the future. A friend of mine lost her son at 6 weeks and they’ve been there a few times. It has been a blessing and place of respite for them.

  6. Mayra T June 7, 2011 at 1:03 am #

    My regards to you and your husband. I’m Soooo sorry for the loss. I will pray for you. May God be in Your Thoughts when you wake in the morning and when you rest at night. He is our strength. Love you girl!
    I’m here if you need anything.

    Mayra T

  7. Delaney June 7, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    Thank you for updating us on how you both are doing. I will continue to keep you and Carey in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was more than I could do.

  8. Ann June 7, 2011 at 1:59 am #

    Jeremy and Carey, I wish for the two of you to be there for each other during this intense time of grief and to find strength and courage in your lives. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I’m not a prayer, but please know that you are and will be in my thoughts.

  9. Karen from Winona June 7, 2011 at 2:03 am #

    Jeremy and Carey,
    I have wanted to try and convey to you my deep sadness over your loss but haven’t up till now for the very reason you mentioned in your blog. Words just cannot begin to express what can really only be conveyed in a look or a touch or a hug. Please know that I truly care and lift you and your 3 sons up in prayer continually. God knows your needs and I pray for him to meet every one of them and more.
    Take things step by step, a day at a time and if you get overwhelmed then hour by hour. You both need time,lots of love and space to heal.

  10. Amy van kleeck June 7, 2011 at 3:53 am #

    You are both in my thoughts, heavy on my heart and in my prayers through the day. I know so much of what you will experience and you put it into words so well. I am trying not to write epic posts about my experience, but I vividly remember pulling into the Walmart parking lot and then sitting in my car crying because not one of those people cared that Caleb was gone. ( I know he was with Jesus, I honestly did not find that to be comforting. I just ached with loss.) how can the rest of the world go on when you have been so devastated? It Was months before I could go to Walmart. I guess I tell you this because I hope that something in my experience will make you feel less alone, less ache. I know better, I just hope. You are young enough to be my kids and I ache with you for today, and for the days ahead. I have no great words today. Just remember. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, picture His molding hands around you and rest into them…breath.

  11. Stephanie June 7, 2011 at 4:49 am #

    Dear Lord, please hold Jeremy and Carey in your arms. Wrap your peace and comfort around them. Be the balm that heals their aching hearts. Help them to feel the love we are pouring out in prayer. Renew their energy and help their weary minds to rest. Guide them in the little things that need to be accomplished. Carry them through their grief and sustain their souls. In your name I pray. Amen.

    Carey and Jeremy…this is the prayer that I send up to heaven for you this morning. I am deeply sorry for your losses. I can’t imagine your pain, but know that the Lord can and he will hold you through your grief. I am continuing to pray for you both and your families.

    • alicia June 7, 2011 at 5:39 am #

      My heart breaks learning about your tragic losses!! I can’t even begin to imagine that ache that fills your heart right now. I found your blog via multiples and more a couple months ago and check in every now and again. ive enjoyed reading a dad’s perspective 😉 It brought me to tears to read what has happened over the last week. You and your wife seem like absolutely amazing people with so much strength. Those boys were loved every moment and will be remembered forever!! There is no understanding why anyone should have to suffer the loss of a child(ren) but I certainly believe that there is a purpose and path for everyone and although beyond comprehension now, I know the future still holds something wonderful for the two of you. You both will always be parents to triplets and you now have three little angels watching over you.
      Another couple on the multiples on more blog lost their triplets about a month ago under very similar circumstances. The blog was titled “Keys made here” but I think they may have taken it down now. I don’t know if you ever read theirs but I know being able to talk to someone who has been down the same road can help with the healing process too. I hope that someone may know them and can pass on that information.
      I hope that you and your wife can find some physical and emotional healing in the days/weeks to come. My prayers are with you both and I wish yall nothing less than a wonderful and amazing future!! all our love!

  12. Stephanie Barrett June 7, 2011 at 5:52 am #

    Oh Jer. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, broken as it is. We continue to take you before God’s throne, speechless – but knowing Jesus stands at His right hand.

  13. Erin June 7, 2011 at 6:59 am #

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain of losing your beloved children. I have been praying here in Dallas for y’all and will continue to do so. I know that right now, reading is probably the last thing on your mind, but I just finished an amazing book that depicts an incredible picture of heaven… from a four year old boy. Its called ‘Heaven is for Real’ and while I know you are hurting, I hope that someday you will read this book, as I know it will give you peace about your three little guardian angels in heaven… sitting in the arms of their maker. Praying for strength and comfort during this difficult time.

  14. Angela Frentzel June 7, 2011 at 7:14 am #

    We are old friends of Lauren’s and have been following through her FB updates. Words cannot possibly express how very sorry we are. Please know we send our deepest and most heartfelt condolences. We began praying all five of you the second Lauren announced the news of the boys’ conception, and continue to pray now in this time of grief. Our prayers have changed from joy, to miracles, and now for comfort and strength, but please know they have always been there and will continue always.

  15. Debbie June 7, 2011 at 7:24 am #

    Hi Jeremy,
    I saw Lauren’s post on Facebook and immediately began praying for you guys. I’m so sorry that you guys are going through this pain…I can’t even imagine. Please know that I will continue to pray for both of you.

    -Debbie (Kirch) Stickel

  16. Liz June 7, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    Even though I don’t know you, I wish I could bring you a hot meal or return purchases or take care of any number of logistics so that you both have time to hold each other and grieve. I am so, so sorry.

  17. Jess June 7, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    My heart breaks for you, and though I don’t know you, I grieve with you. So glad that you know the comfort of the Savior. Praying that you would feel comfort beyond measure.

  18. Courtney June 8, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    I don’t even know you, didn’t know about your story until another blog I read mentioned that one of the baby’s water broke and Carey was in the hospital fighting, but your horrible loss and unending grief has touched me so much that it feels like my own. I am so, so sorry for this tragedy. It may not feel like it now, but you both will come through this with an even stronger love and wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing your story.

  19. Emily June 9, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    We don’t know each other but I have praying for your family this past week. I am so deeply sorry. We have miscarried two babies this year …. It is so hard to be without your children. Praise be to God that they are safe in His arms but the waiting is hard. Praying still …

  20. Mindy June 9, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    I just wanted to let y’all know that I’ve been thinking of you both ever since I read your last post. Your family is in my prayers.

    I’m sure you have heard of this website before but just in case you haven’t I thought I would post it. Triplet Connection? This is the Bereaved Parents board, they have many others but I don’t imagine you want to read them at this time. Sorry if you’ve already seen this, I figured it couldn’t hurt to post it just in case you had not. Take care of each other.


  21. Aaron June 24, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

    Thank you so much for finding the strength to share your story. Your words are moving, and your children were blessed to have you to care for them during their time with you. Your story has affected me deeply, as my partner and I found out our surrogate was pregnant in January; heard news of triplets in February; had scares in March; and are officially due 10/9; we are currently agonizing over each week hoping for few complications. We are praying that you find comfort and healing soon, and continue to grow and love and enjoy life as your children would want for you.

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