Memorial Video: The Bear Triplets

28 Jun

Below is the video produced for the June 25th, 2011 memorial service for Rudyard, Desmond and Oscar Bear, our triplet sons.

Please be warned: while this video contains a handful of images from their brief lives, it also contains some imagery captured shortly after their passing. If you’re disturbed or offended by this sort of thing, please don’t feel any obligation to watch.

Thanks for celebrating them with us.

92 Responses to “Memorial Video: The Bear Triplets”

  1. modvegan June 28, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    Thank you for the gift of this video. It means the world to me. I love you Jer.

  2. Ami Bunch June 28, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    First of all, thanks for sharing that with all of us. I appreciate you taking us along on your journey. The video was amazing…perfect. I appreciate getting to know those little boys….they are so handsome, so perfect. True angels. Their legacy lives on through each of us who’ve shared your journey and continue to talk about them and remember the Bear Boys.

    Ami Bunch

  3. Rochelle C. June 28, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    Thank you for sharing. Just thank you. Beautiful, beautiful boys.

  4. sherry lane June 28, 2011 at 9:30 am #

    The boys are beautiful, thank you for sharing. Hugs to your family. Xoxo

  5. Shelby Cherry June 28, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    What a wonderful memorial video.. It was an honor to be able to see your sons in it — thank you. They were such handsome little guys with the sweetest faces, and I can only imagine how proud you must be of them. Continuing to pray for you and Carey.

  6. megan spagnolo June 28, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    What a beautiful memorial for your precious boys. Thank you for sharing your perfect little babies with us!

  7. Brian Brinkman June 28, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Not sure what to say but thank you for sharing the tribute and video of the the Bear boys. I love their names and to see the changes along way is precious.

    Know that our hearts ache for you both and your love and dedication as parents, though only for a short time, has taught the rest of us volumes about love, pain, time and the treasures we are blessed to parent for a given time. I will cherish and appreciate the time I have been given as a Husband and Father with more passion and love.

    Thank you for teaching me.
    Love Brianb

  8. Meredith June 28, 2011 at 9:48 am #

    Thank you for giving us this special gift through your video. Your boys are very handsome and they have blessed and influenced my life already.
    Love you guys!

  9. Tami June 28, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Again, Carey and Jer, thanks for sharing this tribute with us. What precious boys the Bear brothers are, and how we ache that your time with them was so achingly short. I will not soon get the sound of your voice, husky with emotion saying, “These are my sons.”

  10. Carly June 28, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    A perfect way to preserve their memory. Just gorgeous.

  11. Jen June 28, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Thank you for sharing this amazing video. I watched it through tears but it was nice to get a glimpse of your beautiful family.

  12. Debbie June 28, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    Wow. Thank you for sharing your boys with all of us. They were so, so precious. I can’t imagine your pain at losing them, but we continue to pray fervently for peace.

  13. amanda June 28, 2011 at 10:31 am #

    Jeremy, I watched this with tears in my eyes. You created the most beautiful tribute and memorial to your sons. They touched this world. They had a place here. This heartfelt video cements that. Forever. Thank you for sharing not only this video, Jeremy, but also for sharing your precious sons with us. Thank you so much for that.

  14. Emily June 28, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    Wow. What an amazing tribute to your sons. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine what you are going through and I pray for peace as you walk through this dark place.

  15. Andy Kerr June 28, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    I’m here. I don’t know what to say. But I’m crying right alongside you.

  16. Lara June 28, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    Thank you for sharing this video with all of us that have come to love you and your boys. I feel honored to have been able to “meet” them and that you would share such precious and private moments. I haven’t stopped praying for you for a single day.

  17. Genevieve June 28, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Oh, Jerry, I am weeping. This is an incredibly personal tribute, and I am honored to have seen it. Thank you and know my heart aches for you all.

  18. pyjammy June 28, 2011 at 10:56 am #

    just beautiful, as i expected it to be. thanks again for sharing such a private moment. i am honored to have been allowed this glimpse into your boys’ lives. my heart still hurts for you so much.

  19. Ellis Passmore June 28, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    I have commented and erased my words several times because nothing seems adequate. Suffice it to say that you are all in my thoughts and I am sending up prayers for you from Mobile, Alabama. I have been following your blog for awhile now, and my heart is hurting for you. Thank you for sharing this video.

  20. jil June 28, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    jeremy and carey- you guys have been in our hearts and prayers a lot these last few weeks. thank you for sharing so much of your story. your boys were blessed to have you as their mom and dad- parents that love them so profoundly.
    also, the video was just beautiful.
    -jil elledge

  21. Krista Burden June 28, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Your video tribute of your journey and the time w/ your boys was just precious beyond words. I cried watching it and can only imagine both your love and your pain. I am praying for you both right this moment! Krista B.

  22. ms2mrs20102 June 28, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this with us. What a beautiful memorial for the Bear boys. Sending you both so much love. I feel the quote at the end is so fitting

  23. Wiley June 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    Thank you so much for sharing that, it was absolutely beautiful. No words except you’re in my thoughts and your boys will always exist in my world.

  24. Donna June 28, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

    Absolutely beautiful…wrenching…heartbreaking…hopeful. Your boys have touched so many for the Kingdom.

    You remain in my prayers.

  25. Stephanie Newport June 28, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    Weeping with and praying for you both. Thank you for allowing us the honor of sharing your memories.

  26. Jenny Lovette June 28, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this amazing video–you did such a wonderful job! What precious memories that you’ve captured with your beautiful boys. They are missed so much already by so many. Their brief lives were of great value…their impact on my life a blessing and challenge to live to the fullest for the Glory of God. May God continue to use you & Carey as you share you lives with us.

  27. Kate June 28, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    Such a beautiful tribute to your three beautful boys. Thank you for sharing. Your family will always be in my prayers.

  28. Allison Gunnip June 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    thank you.

  29. Jenny June 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this video with us. It’s such an honor to finally meet your trio. They’re an adorable bunch.

  30. Whitney June 28, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Beautiful, Jeremy & Carey – really beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Continuing to pray for you and your family.

  31. Ann Ingersoll Thomas June 28, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Jeremy and Carey, Thank you so much for shareing your boys with us. There are no words that can express how I feel for you both. I am praying for you each and every day.

  32. Aubri June 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    What an awesome memorial and honor to your boys! Their lives were blessed, and we are so blessed to have your strength in our lives. Thank you Jeremy and Carey for your openness during this time. Showing the good, bad, and ugly sides of your ordeal. Asking the questions, and then turning to each other for the love and understanding when words were not enough. Answers sometimes are not what we want, and healing is not always easy, or wanted. What we want is what we had. I pray that your personal healing will allow you to feel whole, if even for a few minutes at a time. Our love is with y

  33. Daisy Austin June 28, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    What a wonderful and beautiful tribute for three boys who touched so many lives. They looked so beautiful and precious in their outfits and blankets, thank you so much for sharing them with us.

  34. Karey June 28, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this for those of us that are so far away. It was amazing and makes it so much more of a reality. Still praying for you and Carey.

  35. Katie B June 28, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    Jeremy & Carey, thank you for sharing your story. I know Lauren, and have been extremely moved by your loss. I can tell from your blogs that you both are extraordinary parents, and I hope someday in the future you are able to share that gift with more children. Your boys will always watch you, and are always a part of your life. I have included you in my prayers these past few weeks, and will continue to. Your tribute to your sons shows the incredibly journey and blessing they brought to you.

  36. Christy Bowersox June 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    This was a beautiful and perfect tribute. I watched it twice and am so touched. Sending love to you both.

  37. Sarah June 28, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    So beautiful!

  38. Amy June 28, 2011 at 5:26 pm #


  39. Erin Burtoft June 28, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    Jer & Care,
    I have just watched the video again. I hope you both understand what a profound impact you have had on so many lives, including mine. You are amazing, talented parents who gave your children the ultimate gift of safety and love even during your darkest hour. The gift you have given me with this video by allowing me to finally “meet” my nephews is beyond what I can describe in words. The video tribute is perfect, as were your letters are the memorial Carey. You are both such beautiful souls, it’s no wonder that your sons exuded love and beauty also. I love all 5 of you with all my heart. I miss all 5 of you also.

  40. sistainsane June 28, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    beyond words. your story, your boys = beautiful.

    ~ emily

  41. renea June 28, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    Beautiful. Just beautiful. Big Hugs your way. R.

  42. Erica June 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm #

    Thank you for sharing. Again, I know your pain as my 3 boys are in heaven too. I will continue to pray for your boys and your strength to get through this. You will never forget your boys but I pray that God gives you the miracle you deserve.

  43. Delaney June 28, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your Bear boys with us. It’s small comfort, but I hope that this memory is a blessing to you.

  44. Kendra June 28, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    Oh oh oh. Precious dear family. I ache and grieve with you. But with hope. I still pray for you often as God brings you to mind. You are loved. Dearly. Beautiful remembrance video.

  45. Tarah H. June 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    That was a painfully beautiful thing to watch. It’s a privilege to remember them with you.

  46. Suzy June 28, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    A beautiful bittersweet memory video – so much love for your little boys. You have three beautiful sons. I wish you had the chance to see them grow.

    Your video was lovely. I wish I had thought to videotape my son after his birth.

  47. Jazmin June 28, 2011 at 8:58 pm #

    I am so very very sorry for your loss. No matter how many times you hear that from no matter who you pass in life i know it will never be enough.
    A beautiful video for 3 beautiful boys who got their angel wings too soon
    Stay strong and look after each other. All the best for what the future holds for you both, warm well wishes xoxox

  48. Hope's Mama June 29, 2011 at 3:27 am #

    This cracked my already broken heart wide open. Your boys are beautiful and this video was so very moving.
    Sending all my love to you and Carey. Remembering your boys always.
    From another broken hearted mother, on the other side of the world.

  49. Jill S June 29, 2011 at 8:19 am #

    What a beautiful video for you to cherish. Thanks for sharing! My thoughts are still with you and your family.

  50. t.bird June 29, 2011 at 10:33 am #

    my heart aches for your family.
    your boys are perfect.
    they touched more lives in their short time here on earth than most people do in a lifetime.
    thank you for sharing them with us.

  51. Janet Smith June 29, 2011 at 10:38 am #

    Thank you for sharing your video! Praying for your family during this difficult time! Beautiful video!!

  52. loren June 29, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    Thank you for sharing such a tender moment with the world. Your boys look very sweet and peaceful resting together. Love, from another triplet parent…

  53. tracey June 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Beautiful boys and an amazing tribute. Thank you for sharing.

  54. Helene June 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    Their isn’t any amount of words are thoughts that can surpass how deep my condolences are for you both many many thoughts & prayers of healing.

  55. Becca June 29, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

    They are just beautiful. I will forever remember your sweet boys as they were born on my son’s 2nd birthday. You are in my prayers!

  56. Kim P June 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    What a beautiful tribute. Your boys are so proud of you. Thank you for sharing them with us. They were beautiful and will never be forgotten.

  57. Marcie distefano June 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    What a beautiful, bittersweet tribute. Thank you for sharing. Much love.

  58. Barb June 29, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    I don’t know you guys…you don’t know me. But for some reason, God has placed your family heavily in my heart. I grieve the loss of your sons. I believe that perhaps as you share your story with others, we may ever so slightly carry the burden with you, so that you don’t carry it all by yourselves. I pray for you regularly and have asked others to do the same. God’s peace surround you, God’s love enfold you, God’s mercy envelop you all the days forward.

  59. Beth June 29, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    Oh Jer, they are beautiful. You are…and we are….forever changed.

  60. Tracy June 29, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    I don’t remember how I stumbled upon this little slice of blog heaven but I am so grateful that I did. Your words, drawings, photographs, and video are beautiful, heart wrenching, poignant, …. I could go on and on. As a new parent, I finally understand the power of a parent’s love and your love for your sons is so evident. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have both been through this past month, but please know, our hearts weep with yours. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of these intimate moments. Thinking of you, your wife, and those three handsome, sweet baby boys.

  61. Erica June 30, 2011 at 7:27 am #

    thank you so much. I kissed your boys, and for that moment I loved them more than anything. Coincidently while I was watching your beautiful boys I was listening to an Australian band – Crowded House, their songs ‘Four Seasons in One Day’ and ‘Distant Sun’. Seemed so perfect.
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful boys!

  62. Amy June 30, 2011 at 7:58 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing this intimate video with us. You can hear the love and pain in your voice. I have a lump in my throat–I do, every time I think of you and Carey, which I do nightly when I ask that you have support around you during and after this weekend. I love this video. Your boys are very beautiful.

  63. Jacque June 30, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    What beautiful babies! Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry you lost them.

  64. Randy Bear June 30, 2011 at 12:51 pm #

    This is a tremendous video, Jer. And the Memorial Service was so very very moving and I counted it a privilege to be there to share and to grieve with you and Carey and the rest of us. What a wonderful and lasting memory we will all have of those tremendous little guys that I’m so looking forward to meeting again someday in heaven. You and Carey have handled everything, particularly the Memorial Service, with such grace, dignity, class, and love, that I will never forget those moments there listening, crying, and honoring you and Carey and the boys. I’ve never been prouder of you and how you both have gone through this… and are going through this. Thank you. What a gift… not only to your boys, but to all the rest of us.

    • Erin Burtoft June 30, 2011 at 6:25 pm #


  65. Jessica Renshaw June 30, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    When I came to your blog the first time you posted this video, I thought, I can’t do this. But I came again today and watched it and I am so glad I did. How sweet and how individual each child is. What precious tributes you and Carey each gave of them. And what a precious gift you gave TO them–that during the months and then minutes they had with you on this earth they were enfolded in their Mommy’s and Daddy’s love.

  66. Marla Taviano July 1, 2011 at 4:12 am #

    What a gift you’ve given us, sharing your beautiful boys. Thank you. Praying for you both.

  67. Kayla July 2, 2011 at 3:41 am #

    Your sons are simply beautiful. Just beautiful.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

  68. Chantelle July 2, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    Unbelievably gorgeous…..really.

  69. Staciet July 2, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    Your boys were absolutely beautiful.

  70. StayatHomeTripletDad July 3, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Just wondering if you have “had it out” with God yet. In the Summer at our Church on Wednesday nights we have people give their testimonies/walk with God or whatever you want to call it. If there is one thing that is a common thread with parents that have lost children is that things come to a head and they let God “have it.” I mean REALLY have it. They don’t get real explicit but I think there were more than a few expletives in the “conversation.” I know you know this but if you have not done so yet, give it to him good, he can take it…. cause well, he’s God.

    You all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers daily. You have a beautiful family!


  71. Jessica Lyle July 4, 2011 at 12:30 am #

    I have been reading your blog since shortly after your beautiful boys passed away. A friend of mine linked to it with a request for prayers and I was immediately captivated by the story of your amazing boys and how much love emanated from the posts and the way you talked of them and described them.

    This video is absolutely beautiful and so were your beautiful boys. Thank you for sharing them with us. I won’t ever forget their story or them.

  72. paige July 4, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    *wow* – holy hush seeing those sweet little guys.
    what a beautiful tribute – and what a wise daddy to capture those precious moments with your sons.
    i took 2 pictures of my little boy & one was blurry… it felt awkward because he was so wee & vulnerable – but every so often, i pull his book off the shelf & dig around for the torn envelope that has his pictures inside… i wish they were clearer – & i wish there were more of them. The memories hurt less all these years later – they really do. The blessing is more obvious too… it was hiding in the grief for a lot of years though.
    beautiful blog…

  73. Suzanne July 6, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your story and this beautiful video with us. Your sons were so handsome! I’ve cried reading through your blog and Carey’s and have been praying for both of you. Thanks for your transparency during this heart-wrenching time.

  74. Valerie July 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm #

    Thank you again for sharing your family with us. This is such an amazingly beautiful video.

  75. Amanda July 6, 2011 at 8:15 pm #


    you don’t know me- I blog hopped here from a friends blog. I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing the video. I can feel the love for your boys- you are amazing and I know they are hugging you from heaven. They are beautiful boys. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that will find the peace you need and deserve.

  76. Mom July 9, 2011 at 5:30 am #

    On July 4th, one month after your precious boys birth and passing, we shared the video with Grandma and Grandpa (along with the beautiful letters that you both read at the memorial service). We cried together and sat in amazement at the grace and strength that it took to create such a beautiful tribute. I wanted to remind you that your family loves you both very much, think and pray for you every day, and are always here for you. Rudyard, Desmond and Oscar are never forgotten.
    I love you very much,

  77. Helen July 10, 2011 at 5:44 am #

    Wow. What a beautiful and moving video. Thank you for sharing that with us, and for continuing to write here.

    We’ve grown kind of fond of you and would be sad if you stopped posting 😉

  78. jeansie July 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    The Bear family is so handsome & this video is such a treasure. Thank you for sharing.

  79. Shelby Cherry July 13, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    We’re all still here — thinking of and praying for you. Just wanted you to know.

  80. gail July 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your boys with us. We have 3 boys… a 4y/o and 2y/o twins. I have followed your story for quite some time- and will always think of your 3 little Bear boys and how inspiring they have been. Continued prayers for you and your wife. Thank you again, for sharing that beautiful video of them. They were such precious, handsome little men.

  81. carrie allen July 13, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    this is beautiful.

    heartbroken over what happened. when brian, pierce and cassie told me i was so devastated for you both. i loved that i had the chance to meet them in the womb at the wedding and joke about names that go well with “Bear”. PERFECT names you chose. perfect.
    i am praying for you.

  82. Esther Hanes July 15, 2011 at 2:28 am #

    I love you guys. It’w been very difficult for me to comment on this video because it makes me cry (and Jason can’t even watch it). But I’m so glad you made it. I hope you guys are doing well, and I think about you both all the time.

  83. Laura July 18, 2011 at 9:33 am #

    When I lost my mom 6 years ago today, I thought there is no good to be found in this. Days later I read the comments people had left on my mom’s blog. There was a post from a stranger about how our pain had helped him. He and his wife were headed toward divorce because of petty fights that didnt matter. After seeing my father’s unwavering dedication to my mother during her 25 years of illness his life was put into perspective. I remember him saying “you have shown me that all I have to do is LOVE MY WIFE, thats it nothing more.” We just welcomed triplets into this world. I will be honest and tell you, I found this website during my serach for organization tips on how to make my life EASIER. After forcing myself to watch the video of your sweet babies I am filled with self disgust for being so selfish. How could I FORGET how blessed I am! I am still human, and I know I will get stressed and frustrated, but when I do, I will think of your beautiful sons and honor them. Even though we’ve never met, I am so thankful that God lead me to The Bear Triplets ❤

  84. Molly Detweiler July 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    Wow. They are so precious. So handsome. Thank you. What an honor that you shared them with us.

  85. Karen July 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    I am so sorry for your loss…they were such perfect little boys. What a joyous reunion when you meet them again in heaven. Thank you for sharing your loving tribute to them.

    Karen Smith
    (Molly Detweiler’s Mama)

  86. Heidi July 18, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    What an incredible tribute to your three angels. There are no words.

  87. lis July 21, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    what an amazing video. it is a gift it is to have all of those days captured on film and in photo, and to have them all together as a tribute to your triplets’ short but wonderful life. i can only imagine what having that video means to the both of you, and i hope it brought you comfort in the days following your boys’ birth and death and will continue to do so as you both move forward.
    i am no stranger to pre-term loss. i have lost two sets of twins now. my girls in oct 2009 and my boy/girl twins just four short days after your little ones were born. it is almost unbelievable that we had them, and then, so quickly, they were gone.
    im so desperately sorry for the loss of your children. i try to remind myself that no matter how much trauma and heartbreak i am going through, that my babies only knew peace and comfort and love their whole lives. i hope this thought helps comfort you and your beautiful wife some.
    thank you for sharing them with me.

  88. Jen July 24, 2011 at 6:18 am #

    What an amazing tribute to your sons.

    I am so very sorry that you had to compose a tribute.

    Take care and be well.


  89. Holly July 28, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    Hi, I am a very good friend of Kelleys. Thank you for sharing this memorial. Your boys were beautiful! I cried while watching, I cried as kelley told me in May and June. I was excited for you in Jan and Feb. Please know how sorry I am for losing them. I continue to pray for you

  90. Lindsi Boynton July 29, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your beautiful precious boys with us! I bawled and sobbed throughout the entire video and for a while after. My heart feels like it is in my throat and I am sure it is not even close to how your heart feels. I am so incredibly sorry for the pain and the loss you both are feeling. I pray and think of you often.

  91. rebecca April 25, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    A huge thank you for this blog post. I lost triplets almost 9 months ago, identical boys and I STILL am having the hardest time dealing with it. I am young, 23 years old, just got married, and had spontaneous identical triplets. Your video helped me so much. I tried to google images after my loss and found nothing. Your true honesty was exactly what I needed. To see their beautiful faces and the love you had for them really helped me grieve. No one has been honest like this. No1 gets it.
    I am SO sorry for the loss of your beautiful children. I clearly see the love you had and I wish only the best for you I am so so sorry what you went through. NO ONE should have to go through this. All the best in the future. Love- R.

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