Happy Whatever Day

21 Jun

Happy Avoiding Facebook Day.

Happy Rehearsing Your Response to ‘Happy Father’s Day’ Day.

Happy Uncomfortable Pauses That End With ‘How’s Your Wife Holding Up?’ Day.

Happy Getting Your Story Straight When Asked If You Have Any Kids Day.

Happy Politely Declining The Father’s Day Gift/Special/Award At Stores/Restaurants/Church Day.

Happy Nodding And Shrugging When Loved Ones Tell You What A Great Father You Are/Were/Would’ve Been Day.

Happy Being Happy For Other Fathers Day.

Happy One-Year-Til-Next-Father’s-Day Day.

Happy Avoiding Patronizing Articles And Blog Entries Like This One Day.


A fast note to other dads who have lost, because, damn it, this is our day too: you’re on my mind. If you’re anything like me, Father’s Day isn’t something you look forward to, it’s something you sort of wait out. You don’t want to abolish the day altogether, you just want to cue the music and flash the Oscar speech sign because it’s running long: WRAP IT UP.

Maybe you’ve just lost your child or children and this is your first Father’s Day and all you see is ocean in every direction.

Maybe you lost your child decades ago, but you find yourself stealing a minute alone for the one who should be here but isn’t.

Maybe you have other living children and you love them fiercely and you love this day, but it still stings.

Maybe it’s not a child you lost, but rather a wife or a parent or a sibling and the whole Father’s Day idea seems sort of off, particularly this year.

To you: Happy Whatever Day. On a lonely day like today, I’m glad you’re in the world because it means someone else knows how I feel. Maybe that’s a selfish way to look at it, but I’m going to cut myself some slack because, eh, it’s Whatever Day and we all deserve a break.

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3 Responses to “Happy Whatever Day”

  1. Becky June 21, 2015 at 4:12 pm #

    Jeremy, thank you for staying open and always finding a way to express your love/grief with all of us. Holding you close in mind and heart today. Love, mom

  2. Sharon Bear June 21, 2015 at 9:58 pm #

    Jer, how about I am heart-deep sorry for your pain day – yet happy for your ongoing getting it out day too. Aunt Sharon

  3. Mark Lee July 2, 2015 at 7:59 am #

    Jeremy, I stumbled upon your blog this morning, and while I was intrigued by the name of your blog (I had a feeling what it probably meant), but I still decided to start from your first entry. I want to thank you and your wife for sharing your story and while there are no words I can say to truly describe how sorry I am for the lost of your boys, please know your family are forever in my prayers.

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