FAQ

How are you offering “tips on triplets” if you don’t have any children, much less three of them, much less three of them born at the same time?

It’s a fair question. This blog was begun in February of 2011, shortly after my wife and I discovered she was pregnant with triplets. On June 4, 2011, they were born and subsequently passed away. The triplets are gone, but, as of now anyhow, the blog remains in remembrance of them and it’s still as good a place as any for me to keep a  journal.

So this blog is sort of a memorial, then?

I don’t know. Not really. Maybe that’s part of it, but the cold truth is I really don’t know what to do with it and I’d rather continue writing than take it down. I’d prefer not to think of it as a memorial or a grief blog or anything like that, because it’s not what I intended for it. I started Tips On Triplets because our then-forthcoming children were the most important thing happening in my life at the time and they were all I thought about, so a blog seemed natural. As of this writing, they’re still all I think about and even if they weren’t, I’d probably still want somewhere to jot and publish.

Any details about the triplets you’re willing to share?

Their names are Rudyard, Desmond and Oscar. All three were born and all three died the morning of June 4, 2011. I wrote a short tribute to them here which goes into a little more detail.

How did they die?

They were born at 22 weeks, which is just shy of a viable age for babies to survive outside the womb. Rudyard’s water inexplicably broke a few days earlier, which introduced an infection and eventually inspired premature labor for all three.  My wife went into much, much more detail on her own blog.

Have you considered starting a new blog?

That’s probably not a bad idea. Let me get back to you.

What’s with all the questions below?

Oh, those are from the old FAQ. I suppose I should delete them, but, y’know.

Nostalgia?

Nostalgia.

-Jeremy (June, 2011)

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Triplets?  Are you kidding?  You’re kidding.  (Are you?)

No, it’s true.  We discovered the pregnancy in late January 2011 and a few weeks later, our doctor confirmed it: triplets.  We’re freaking out too.

When’s the due date?

The official, 40-week due date is October 6, but pretty much all triplets are premies, usually born a couple of months early.  We’re hoping and praying to hang onto them at least 32 weeks, which would put us somewhere in the vicinity of mid-August.  It’s important in this kind of situation to stay pregnant as long as humanly possible to avoid complications.

Was this planned?

Not even a little bit.  Those that know us know we’ve always been, at best, non-committal about having children.  This was, in every way, a surprise (details here, if you’re interested).

Were you using fertility meds or IVF?

No. The vast majority of triplet pregnancies of the past 20 years have been assisted by IVF and/or fertility medication.  We’re having what’s known as “spontaneous” triplets, meaning we had no fertility assistance.  For a younger-than-35 couple like us, it’s extremely rare.

Are they identical?

Apparently, you can’t be 100% sure until the babies are actually born, but all evidence thus far strongly points to all three being non-identical (fraternal). The fetuses each have their own sac and own placenta, which would be unlikely if two or all three were identical.

Are there any more risks with a triplet pregnancy than a single-child pregnancy?

Definitely. Triplet pregnancies are automatically considered high-risk. On top of this, Carey has been living with Lupus for nearly 15 years, which is a very delicate situation with any pregnancy, also considered extremely high-risk.  We’re optimistic, but our OB and the MFM specialists we’ve seen continue to remind us that it’s by no means a certainty that all three will survive.  We’re hoping and praying for three healthy, as-close-to-full-term-as-possible babies.  The good news is, everyone seems healthy so far and Carey’s Lupus has remained mild and in remission for the past couple of years.  If we can get to at least 32 weeks, though, the chances of something going wrong with the babies drops dramatically.  If we had to point to our biggest worry, it would definitely be that Carey begins labor too early.

Where are you going to live?  What are you going to do?

That’s a tough one.  We’re considering all options at the moment, from selling our little two-bedroom Long Beach condo in favor of a bigger apartment in the area… all the way up to packing up and moving back across the country to be closer to our families.  It does look like we’ll be in our current home in Long Beach up through the births, but we’ll need to figure something out shortly thereafter.

Is there anything I can do to help you out?

Sincerely, we can use all the help, prayers and encouragement you have to spare.  We’re not just new to the idea of triplets, but babies and parenting and general is a big mystery to us.  Please check in at this blog often for updates and leave a comment.  We’d love to hear from you.  Also, Carey has her own blog over at http://www.ModVegan.com/.

If you’d like to send us a personal note or ask a question that you’d rather not be a public comment, you can email me at:
art[at]jeremybear.com

and you can email Carey at:
careymbear[at]hotmail.com

Thanks a lot for reading.  Obviously, I’ll be updating the blog as much as possible, not just with status updates on the pregnancy, but also with original essays, articles, interviews, photos, videos and general ruminations, reminiscent of that Jeremy Bear mojo of yesteryear you’ve most assuredly been missing.  Also, I’ll update this FAQ from time to time as things progress.

Wish us luck.  Brother, we’ll need it.

-Jeremy (March, 2011)

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