Yesterday, I concluded ten conversations about death and grief with writers of various disciplines. For those who would like to read them, here they are:
Jeff Jensen
(Graphic Novelist, Entertainment Journalist, TV and Feature Film Screenwriter)
Lisa Dickey
(Non-fiction Collaborator)
Wallace Demarria
(Filmmaker, Off-Broadway Playwright)
Marla Taviano
(Poet)
Dirk Voetberg
(Comedian, Satirist)
Katherine Lo
(Poet, YA Novelist)
Chelsea Davis
(Musician, Performer)
Alison Star Locke
(Horror Film Writer/Director)
Sam Miller
(Sports Writer)
Tricia Lott Williford – Part 1 & Part 2
(Faith-Based Author, Speaker)
I entered into these conversations with an admittedly selfish goal: I wanted to understand death and grief better for my own sanity and peace of mind. I approached these ten artists specifically because I suspected they would teach me from a perspective I wouldn’t be able to manufacture on my own and that’s exactly what happened.
Several people in my life have asked me, “So, what have you learned from this?” I couldn’t really begin to catalogue it all because there’s so much packed into the above conversations and it would be futile to try to distill it into a handful of bullets. But I will say that I have a new appreciation for the diversity of experiences surrounding death and grief. No two people think about it and handle it exactly the same. And none of my conversation partners have any sort of illusions that their perspective is The Ultimate Perspective. We’re all learning; we’re all living through it and feeling our way around it.
But the bits of conversations that have maybe stuck with me the most are the parts that I wasn’t able to publish. Several (possibly most) of the conversations included at least something that I was asked to edit/augment/qualify/omit after the fact: “Please don’t put this in your transcript, but…” “I realized that I didn’t explain myself fully, so please mention…” “I’d prefer my own audience/family/friends/colleagues not read something I said, as they would find it unsettling…” or even simply: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to answer that question.”
I completely understand and appreciate that. These are the toughest, most personal topics imaginable. And make no mistake, I see each of these conversations as a sacred space that I sort of invited myself into with these amazing people. So, “grateful” doesn’t begin to say it, but I’m indeed so grateful to be able to enter into these spaces with this wise group.
If there are any of these discussions you’ve yet to read, I encourage you to do so. There’s treasure throughout. And to Jeff, Lisa, Wallace, Marla, Dirk, Katherine, Chelsea, Alison, Sam and Tricia: thank you for your gracious transparency. I’m better for having had these conversations.
Tips On Triplets 