“We Can Hope”

2 Jun

Needless to say, we’ve been waiting in the eye of a mighty whirlwind since Carey’s water broke a couple of nights ago and she was admitted to the BirthCare unit at Long Beach Memorial.  We’ve spent all of our time in the hospital since then and, as you’d imagine, our OB warned us that we were in for a very long night and day to to follow.  And, of course, she was right.

Yesterday morning, we met with Dr. Chan to “discuss options”.  Truthfully, we met with several doctors, but it was Dr. Chan who told us where everything stood.  (Apologies if I get some of these details wrong.  When you begin hearing terms like “viability” or “termination” or “sepsis” in relationship to your wife and three children, the world starts to strobe and details get fuzzy.)

Chan looked at our ultrasound and described what’s happening.  Baby A, who’s lowest, next to the cervix, is the baby whose sac ruptured.  By yesterday morning, the amniotic fluid had drained more or less completely, causing the sac to, in Chan’s words “shrink wrap” around him.  What fluid is left is in the pockets around his body and Carey continues to leak amniotic fluid throughout the day and night.

The biggest problem with this isn’t necessarily that Baby A has less fluid or that he’s all scrunched up in a ball (those things are big problems later down the line, but it’s not the immediate concern).  A fetus is able to survive in those conditions and A’s heart continues to beat just fine, but it’s the risk of infection that worries everyone here at Memorial.

Carey was experiencing minor contractions when she was admitted (so small that she couldn’t even feel them), but they put her on medicine to counteract it during the first night.  Eventually, Chan made the ruling to take her off the contraction-blocker, as it was only serving to mask infection.

The trouble with infection is that it begins as perfectly safe bacteria that’s either introduced into Carey’s body from the outside or already exists there to begin with.  Our bodies are accustomed to it and our immune systems keep everything in equilibrium, but the game changes during pregnancy.  Hormones make gestating fetuses extremely susceptible to any sort of infection and the barriers between our children and certain disaster are the cervix and the sacs.  At one centimeter dilated and the bottom most sac ruptured, that’s very bad news.

A lot of people have asked if it’s possible to save the other two if something happens to Baby A and Chan explained that, with infection, it doesn’t exactly work like that.  Any direct, invasive action taken to address the situation introduces more bacteria and increases risk of infection.  It’s not really a matter of taking one baby out to save the other two.  There are definite exceptions, but in most cases, if one becomes infected, it’s likely the infection will progress to the uterine lining and other placentas.  And if that happens, it becomes a matter of saving Carey’s life instead of the babies.

We asked what the chances are for all three to make it and Chan was straightforward: about 30%. And, of course, the likelihood of the kids living with motor-neuro deficiencies or spending their lives in wheelchairs due to CP is now extremely high.  I asked him if it was at all possible for us to have three healthy, fully-functioning  children at this point.  He shrugged: “we can hope.”

Now, I’m a realistic guy.  I know that “we can hope” is doctor-ese for “extremely doubtful and you need to prepare yourself for some very cold realities.”

He discussed Options with us.  He warned us that to continue down this path could make it very difficult for Carey to get pregnant in the future.  He said that the odds weren’t with us and there’s a strong possibility of handicapped children, even if things begin moving in a positive direction.  He mentioned that we’re still a couple of weeks away from 24 weeks, the Age of Viability, and that’s the point where he’s no longer allowed to treat termination as an option.  He asked if we would object to any termination discussions from here on out.

Carey and I weren’t exactly sure what to say.  We’re Pro Life people.  Carey in particular is a hard and fast believer in the sacredness of all life, including-but-not-limited-to human beings, born or unborn.  We’ve agreed that nature is better at deciding these sorts of things than we are.  But, like that annoying instigator who throws up his hand in the midst of every college Ethics course discussion and plays the devil’s advocate, life is testing what we believe by introducing an extreme scenario.

We finally said we want to wait and see.

“There’s a phenomenon,” Chan told us, “where a ruptured sac can seal itself back up.  It happens very rarely and we can’t explain it, but I’ve seen it.  The sac heals and fills again with amniotic fluid.  After a few days and weeks, well, we’re back in business.”

“How often does that happen?” we asked.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up for that.  It’s rare.  I’m tempted to say it’s a 1% chance, but even that is being too generous.”

“Have you ever seen it with multiples?”

“Ah… I’m not sure how to answer that.  I think probably only singletons, but I can’t recall.  It’s unexplainable.  A miracle.”

Later, Carey and I were discussing what we thought.  What should we be praying for?  Is there any hope left for our boys?

“What do you think?” Carey asked me.  “Be honest.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just laid the truth on her, as I see it: “Well, less than 1% isn’t 0%.  And it’s got to happen to somebody.  So why not two people who are right now being prayed for by hundreds of people all over the world?”

She agreed.  So that’s our prayer.

It’s Thursday morning, just before lunch, and Carey is still losing amniotic fluid.  Miracles are called miracles for a reason, though, and we’re taking Chan at his word: “we can hope.”

People have been absolutely astonishing with their prayers and encouragement.  To anyone who says blogging and social media is a waste of time, I say, respectfully, that Twitter, WordPress, Facebook and txt messaging have been our saving grace and anchor throughout this impossible time.  All over the world, we’ve received emails and txts, wall posts and blog comments, tweets and retweets from dearly loved family and friends and also Tweeters and Bloggers we’ve never met with encouragements, prayers and soothing words that have given us smiles and hopes in our darkest hours.

Several times a day I’ve pulled out my iphone and read Carey the latest, wishing we could reply to each person with hugs and heartfelt thanks.  “Good thoughts and vibes from me to you,” people have said.  “We’re praying.” “We know someone in a similar circumstance and they came out of it with a healthy baby.”  “We love you, we’re praying now and all through the day.”

“Praying.” “Praying.” “Praying.”

It would be impossible to describe all the encouragement we’ve received, but I want to mention one or two.

Marisa Palma: thank you for bringing meal after meal to the hospital.

Jerry and Pat Giles: thank you for getting out of bed at an ungodly hour to come and pray for us and give us a desperately-needed Psalm.

Mom, Dad, George, Shannon, Kelley, Erin, Lauren, Schwyzen, Danielle: thanks for crying with us on the phone and asking and listening.  It’s okay that you’re not sure what to say.  Being there for us is enough.

If you’ve txted us or posted something on your wall or commented or tweeted or retweeted: thank you.

If you’ve had a life long faith and are praying, or if you’ve told us, “I’m not a praying sort of person, but I’m praying for you,” or if you’ve simply wanted to send us good thoughts or vibrations or love or care or anything at all: thank you.

Thanks also for being understanding about what Carey and the boys need most.  It’s entirely possible that we’re unable at a given moment to take your call or receive an in-person visitor, particularly if you’re getting over a cold or something that could be dangerous.  Please don’t hesitate to ask if it’s an okay time, though.  If we’re able to talk or see you, we certainly would love to.

Most of all, please continue to lift us up.  It’s a difficult time and it’s far from over.  We’re trying our best to stay positive and get sleep when we can (I’ve gotten pretty used to this beside chair at this point).

I’ll continue to update Twitter when I can.

We’re going to keep hoping.  Hope with us, would you?

June 2, 2011

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155 Responses to ““We Can Hope””

  1. Helen June 2, 2011 at 11:48 am #

    Definitely will keep hoping and praying for you!

    A local triplet mom friend of mine had one of her triplets delivered at 23 weeks and didn’t expect him to survive but he’s a thriving, happy 6 year old now and he’s 2 weeks older than his brothers (who are also thriving, happy 6 year olds). Miracles happen. If you want to read her private blog or even just converse with her, she’s happy to. Just e-mail me.

  2. pam June 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I am at a work conference surrounded by nuns and priests. I got some powerful prayers for you guys. I’ve seen a similar situation happen with a mom of twins and her girls are now healthy 2 year olds. And with another mom of twins. So maybe your doctor hasn’t seen of with multiples, but I have.

  3. K June 2, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    This has left me with tears. I am praying for both of you to be comforted and encouraged, and I am so so so hopeful that you both come out of this okay.

  4. rachel June 2, 2011 at 11:55 am #

    thanks for the update. i have been praying continually for you guys. praying for peace and comfort for you and carey and for a miracle for your precious boys!

  5. Brooke June 2, 2011 at 11:56 am #

    Wow, I’m glad you posted an update. I have been praying this morning and wondering how things are going for you and Carey and babies. Still praying and hoping for a miracle along with you and so many others! Thank you for sharing so openly with all of us.

  6. Kelly Hassenzahl June 2, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Hope :
    This reminded me of Romans 15:13
    May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

    and the lyrics to Laura Story’s “Blessings” If you haven’t hear it yet it is a beautiful reminder of God’s love for us and our HOPE (past, present and future).
    We pray for blessings
    We pray for peace
    Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
    We pray for healing, for prosperity
    We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
    All the while, You hear each spoken need
    Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

    ‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
    What if Your healing comes through tears
    What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
    What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

    We pray for wisdom
    Your voice to hear
    We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
    We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
    As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
    All the while, You hear each desperate plea
    And long that we’d have faith to believe…

    …what if the aching of this life
    is a revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
    Much love,
    Kelly for all

    • Christy Bowersox June 2, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

      I absolutely LOVE that song! So beautiful.

  7. Paula June 2, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    I am lifting your family up in my prayers ~ with all these Prayer Warriors calling on HIM, I know you have GOD’s attention in this matter. May HE give you comfort in the coming days and weeks. Praying for a positive outcome for your wife and babies.

  8. Cara June 2, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    My thoughts and prayers are have been with you since I first heard the news. I will continue those prayers. Mike sends his love too.

  9. Jon June 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

    Four Schweitzers in NC are praying for you and hoping beyond hope for God to do great things. He’s already done great things in your lives — the existence of this blog is a testment to that — and I’m trusting him to do more.

    • April June 2, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

      Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!
      Praying He will do immeasurably more than all that we hope!

  10. Christy Bowersox June 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    Just got off my knees. I am praying for you and hoping along with you. My sweet little girls will pray, too. They have even bigger faith than me! I am going to share this with my friends on Facebook and get even more people praying.

    Much love to all 5 of you!

  11. amanda smith June 2, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    oh you guys…sending so much love your way and am continually thinking of you, praying constantly. we stand with you, hoping and asking for a miracle!

  12. Stephanie June 2, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    You don’t know me but I found your blog from Multiples and More and I’ve been following you for a few weeks. I have been checking Twitter all day checking for an update. I know that writing out a long update is probably not what you want to be doing so thanks for letting us know what’s going on. I am crossing all of my fingers and toes for you guys- doctors don’t know everything and I’m hoping you get your miracle.

  13. Erin June 2, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    We will hope with you, cry with you, and hopefully rejoice with you. You, Care, and your 3 boys are so important to this world and to our family. We will not give up hope. I love you guys. May God give you the peace that passes all understaning.

  14. Debbie Hiler June 2, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    Jeremy and Carey, I have been praying so often for you two for the last two days, even through much of the night. God just keeps reminding me that you guys are odds-beaters. Less than one percent should sound pretty good to a couple with spontaneous triplets! God is able to exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine and we are joining the thousands who are imagining and asking God to bring you and three healthy boys through this unbelievably hard trial. Praying, hoping, and believing with you!

  15. Katie June 2, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    I am hoping with you guys. And praying. In fact, it only makes sense as your babies are miracles in the first place. They beat the odds just by being conceived!

  16. Carrie June 2, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    I heard about you from a friend, Helen (who is a triplet mom), I am praying for you and your family. May God’s grace about in you both. May His will be done. Praying for strength, encouragement and hope. Remember that He is the mighty Healer!!
    Blessings and love,
    Carrie in Maine

  17. RoseAnneH June 2, 2011 at 12:37 pm #

    I am praying for you and have passed this post and a request for prayer along to my FB friends. Praying for a miracle and for God’s peace for you and your wife in the midst of the storm.

  18. nikandthetrip June 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm #

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been following your blog for just a month, but keep reading as I would with long time friends. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I will definitely keep praying and hoping for your boys, Carey and you. Hang in there.

    Valeria, Italy

  19. Shannon June 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

    Found you through pyjammy. I recently came through something through prayer (cancer while pregnant), so now I send those prayers on to you. Praying for your miracle.

  20. Kristine June 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

    I have been following your blog for some time because your posts have been so interesting and funny. With this post, I could not help but write a comment. I’m truly sorry for what is happening to your family right now. I will be praying for you, your wife, and your babies. Stay strong and believe in the power of prayer.

  21. Michelle Stevens June 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    We are all praying that sac seals up and god performs a miracle for your family. May he give you strength, wisdom, and hope during this time. We are HOPING with you.

  22. Tracey June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    You don’t know me, but as a mom who delivered twins at 26 weeks due to infection, I am hoping and praying and telling you that there IS hope. I know 26 weeks is farther along, but my boys DID survive. They are 19 months old and THRIVING. Yes, one does have CP but it is moderate, and he is AMAZING. They both are. They are miracles and I am sending all my most positive thoughts to your three little ones and the two of you.

  23. Martha June 2, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    prayers…so many people are following you and sending you good vibes- that’s gotta help!

  24. christina June 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    I came to your blog from a link posted by a fellow triplet mom on facebook. I just had my three babies in March and even though I haven’t gone through what you are, I can empathize with how scary your situation is…every day of triplet pregnancy is a day where you ask yourself if your babies are going to be ok. Our family will be praying for you all, and we’ll not be shy about asking for a miracle!

  25. Gary June 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm #

    Jer and Carey…

    We are hoping with you here in Delaware.

    I read your blogpost and update with tears and a trembling heart. I am so extremely sorry for you guys and what you are going through. I am equally proud to hear (read) your response that you guys are not giving up hope…

    Ephesians 3:20… Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…

    Hang in there.

    We love you and wish we could be there (although we’d give you space and rest of course!!!)… As much as this sucks on every level, may God bless you and protect all five of your lives for His glory and honor and joy.

    Love always in Christ,
    Wailer

  26. Christa S. June 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Praying for you and your family! May God give you the miracle we are all praying for!

  27. Jenn Gigowski June 2, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    WOW. Just wow. I happened upon a facebook post of Boyd’s to get here. I didn’t realize you guys were pregnant, let alone with triplets. That I found out just today is only a God thing. I am praying and will have EVERYONE in my circle of friends praying.
    Love you guys.

  28. Chrissy June 2, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Jeremy and Carey,
    Trust in the LORD, he will answer. My family and I are praying for your miracle to happen. Thank you so much for the update.

  29. debdunlevy June 2, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    We are hoping with you. And praying. Praying with tears in our eyes, but confidence in our hearts, too.

  30. Curtis Stavedahl June 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    I don’t know a whole lot, but I do know this. God doesn’t care about statistics because God is the great physician, that he loves the 5 of you, he wants the best for all of you, and somehow, what you are going through right now is to make you more like Jesus and this is for His glory…..somehow.

  31. Merry Sedlqk June 2, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Debbie Hiler posted your blog on FB and we are praying for your precious family. Through tears of hope and faith we lift you up!!!

  32. Lindsey June 2, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    Hoping with you! Big prayers for you, your wife, and your 3 little ones! God does amazing things.

  33. Julie June 2, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    I’d say I was praying for “a miracle” or “your miracle” but I feel like there’s a growing group of people now that feel like it’s “our miracle.” Never-the-less, we CAN hope and I am praying.

  34. Karen June 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    I’m Molly Detweiler’s mama and I’ve been praying for you and the boys. My heart breaks for what you’re going through but I’m so thankful that you know God has gone before you in this situation.

  35. StayatHomeTripletDad June 2, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    We are praying for each one: A, B and C. We are also praying for you all as this is truly walking through the valley.

    Yours in Christ,

    Al

  36. Dirk and Michelle Voetberg June 2, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    Ooof. Wow. We love you guys and love your boys. Let the miracles begin.

  37. Nate Dunlevy June 2, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    Our whole team prayed for you guys today. Us, the Elledges, and Gorniks.

    I know we haven’t seen you guys in year, but we stalk you because you are two of my absolute favorite people I’ve ever met. Deb and I have been crying for you and praying.

    We do love you guys, even from another continent.

  38. Allison Wunderland June 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    I’ll keep hoping! Thank you very much for the update.

  39. Rachel Joiner June 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    I will continue to hope and beg for crumbs from His table for you! Love you both.

  40. Jeff Monter June 2, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

    Jeremy,
    We WILL hope with you. And continue to pray.
    And hopefully this will encourage you… a former work associate was pregnant with twin boys and had a similar situation happen. They had to deliver the boys at about 23 weeks. They were around a pound and a half each. A long journey at the hospital, of course, but now they are 2 or 3 years old and perfectly healthy. I pray a similar outcome for you both.

  41. Jessica W. June 2, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

    Praying (and crying) for you guys. I’m so sorry you & Carey are going through such dark and uncertain times. Since last night my prayers have been that 1) Baby A’s sac will refill with fluid, and 2) Carey and all 3 boys will be shielded from infection. I remain trusting and hoping in miracles for each of you. I have many others praying for you as well.

  42. Barb June 2, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Sending thoughts and prayers to your family. If sacs can seal themselves in a singleton pregnancy, I’m hoping that it’s just as likely for a triplet pregnancy (there are just less of them). Try to keep those positive thoughts, miracles happen all the time. God bless A, B, and C!

  43. Michele June 2, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    So many people are praying for your precious family! May you and your wife feel God’s love and presence there with you. May your boys be calm and not under distress and may your Dr Chan and his team be used by God and see an amazing miracle that makes him rethink his percentages!

    We have never met, but I am very moved by your story. Will definitely be praying for you and reposting your prayer requests.

  44. A June 2, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

    Hoping for the best with your family. I know it might sound weird…but don’t be afraid to love your boys. When I was worried my firstborn wouldn’t make it, I was afraid to love her, afraid to name her…when I was worried I would lose my secondborn, I didn’t make that same mistake. Your children matter. Baby A matters–as do babies B and C. This isn’t about viability dates or making hard decisions…while you aren’t doctors or nurses or specialists, you are these children’s parents, and only you can love them like a parent can. No matter what happens, no matter how long or short of a time, don’t be afraid to love them, and each other.

  45. Lindy June 2, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    Came across your blog a couple Of weeks ago, and love it. So so sorry you all are going through all of this! Praying for your entire family all throughout the day! 🙂

  46. Michelle June 2, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    Praying for you all!!! I am close (Orange County), so if you need anything please let me know!

  47. cgd June 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    My thoughts are with you, your wife, and your 3 precious babies…

  48. Natalie Hesselink June 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm #

    Oh my goodness, I am drenched… Every time I see a baby, which will be frequently in the next week, I will say a prayer to our almighty Father… He can do ALL things… Thank you for sharing your trials… We love you in Cheboygan Mi…

    Natalie

  49. Jamie and Dan O'Hare June 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

    Praying that God will grant you the desire of your hearts. Praying for wisdom to make the best choices for all involved. We are asking our church and other pro-life community contacts to join in prayer with us.

  50. Michelle June 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Wow! Of course, I have tears… Who wouldn’t?!?! I love that you posted your picture at the bottom. I can’t explain why, but I love it! Sending happy, sac-healing, and filling thoughts your way!

  51. Teri June 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

    I am encouraged by you for your faith and persistance in this journey you are taking! I know it is not an easy road to travel and I know it has a lot of hills and valleys to go across. God is in control of all of this and He will be there to guide and direct you on your way. Have faith in Him to know he is carrying you through every challenge you have. Don’t listen to Satan tell you lies or make you second guess your choices. He is very ccrafty at steering us away from being focused on what God wants.

    I have been down a similar journey before. God was with me every step. My daughter is now 18 and graduating from high school. Yes, she has disabilities, but who cares. She is a love and a precious gift from God that I would never give up.

    You are a blessed couple to have so many people care about you and what you are going through. Hold onto that and re-read comments to help you through every challenge. Whether the boys are handicapped or “normal” you will have many challenges. Having children is always a challenge, let alone having three at the same time.

    I will let the students in the Christian Club at my school know about your trials so they can pray for you. My five children and I will pray for you as well. Keep your eyes, hearts, and minds focusedon God and He will get you through this. You are loved dearly by those on this earth and, most importantly, by God.

    Praying for miracles,
    Teri 🙂

  52. Amy June 2, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

    Don’t know you, but heard on facebook, and I’m praying in Seattle!

  53. Randy Bear June 2, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    While my heart is breaking throughout the day, I still pray and hold out hope for you and those precious boys.
    When you were little you learned the song: “Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.” And yes, we know they belong to Him ultimately and they are a gift to all of us now. I’m continually praying for His intervening grace in this situation, knowing that what He purposes He can make happen.
    I’ve seen how God has worked in your life since you discovered you were going to be a father… I’ve seen how pliable your heart has become as you’ve shared some deep thoughts and feelings with me and the rest of the family, and how you are embracing your new role and do so look forward to it. And you know how many times over the years I’ve told you what a great dad you would be… and that opinion hasn’t changed a whit through this, and has in actuality reinforced that opinion through all of this.
    I’m so very proud of how you’ve stepped up to the plate in this and hung in there and persevered, both you and Carey. And I’m convinced that God will continue to give you the grace and strength and wisdom to endure through all of it… hoping and praying diligently for the best outcome in all of it. You’re an encouragement to me I can tell you. We all love you and Carey and those precious boys.

  54. Sherrie Richey MD June 2, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    I am a maternal-fetal medicine physician in Alaska, and I heard about you from a friend of a friend. Please continue to fight for your children. In our nursery, there is an 80-90% survival rate at 23 weeks, so they all have a chance. Don’t let them take you off your antibiotics. Most commonly they use Erythromycin or Azithromycin, and it is important to not let them stop the treatment at the usual 7-10 day time period. Also, even if the first fetus is delivered, the second and third may be able to stay in for a prolonged period of time. Be sure they give you the steroids at 23-24 weeks and tell them you want everything done for the babies if you do after 23 weeks so they will fight for them. This is very important. I would be more than happy to help you with questions, and my email is sdljroller@msn.com. I have 20 years of experience with this, and you have a great deal to do with how aggressively they manage your babies. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sherrie Richey MD

    • Randy Bear June 2, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

      Wow… thanks Sherrie for your insight and support. This grandpa is grateful for sure. God bless.

  55. Tina odaffer June 2, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    I’m truly moved by your situation!! I am an OB/GYN in Madison, IN and I understand your dilemma. One of my patients water broke at 22 weeks and 5 days. She was devastated. She remained hospitalized and I am happy to report delivered a healthy strong baby at 29 weeks who is doing wonderfully. Just by reading this you seem like amazing people who would b even more amazing parents…u have lucky little boys!! All of my hopes and prayers are with you all. I have told many patients “we can hope” and I’m truly amazed at how often the miracles come true. PLEASE don’t lose your hope, strength and courage for your little boys!!!!!

  56. Rachel June 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

    I came across your blog by a post on facebook from someone asking for prayers. I don’t know you but I know your fear. Please NEVER loose hope. I have b/g twins. I ruptured completely with baby a at 22 weeks. We also were given the same grim news and were scared beyond belief. I delivered at 25w5d when I went into labor. We had a long road but I have by miracle 2 happy, healthy children. Amazingly they have no lasting problems. We beat the odds and I’m praying you do too. I had doctors tell me to “write A off”. I never did and thankfully so. Keep your chin up and keep hoping. Without hope there isn’t anything 🙂

  57. Cary June 2, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

    Thanks so much for the very detailed update…I’ve been thinking of you all day and just waiting til I could get back online to find out what was going on.

    I have twin boys born at 30 weeks…they are now 3.5 years old…and yes, one has CP. I will say (hopefully this will comfort you somewhat) that having a child with a disability is not at all like what you may imagine. He is truly amazing and makes all of us around him live life even more joyfully than we did before he came into our lives. He is a true blessing.

    I am thinking of you and sending you all sorts of positive vibes…I truly hope that you get your miracle.

  58. Heather Smith June 2, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    A friend on facebook posted your blog. Lots of prayers and good thoughts coming your way! Miracles happen! My sister had a very serious placental abruption (placenta tore away from the uterine wall) and was told she may not make it to term. Now she’s got a 4 year old boy!! The abruption healed itself entirely!

  59. Marie Whittaker June 2, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    I’m praying for the miracle you asked for. Our God is able! Keep looking to Him. God bless all 5 of you! With love in Him, Marie (a friend of Rachel Cowden).

  60. Brenda Taylor June 2, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    I just want you to know that I will pray for your family. Our God is stil in charge no matter what that means for your wife and little babies. I’m praying that the sac seals itself back up and everything progresses as a normal pregnancy.

  61. NicoleJ June 2, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    This happened to me, minus the triplets. After a week my water resealed (which is rare) but infection never set in. The pPROM board on BBC was very helpful. Many people on that board managed to stay infection free well past week 28. Dr Lindsay in Denver has had success delivering one (twin) while leaving the other in for additional time.

    Sending good thoughts your way.

  62. Jill Tennyson June 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    You don’t know me, I know Julie Lear from church, anyway, I will be praying for you. I do believe in miracles!! My husbands counsin – was put on bed rest around 20wks with twins, because Max broke his sac – and guess what – he was the 1% – his sac closed, she was put on bed rest and for about 10-12 wks. The twins now are healthy and happy!!! MIRACLES do happen – keep believing, praying and hoping.

  63. Kelly Gallagher June 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Hi. I just wanted to share with you that there is always hope. My daughter was born at 39.5 weeks, and I had a severe placental abruption. When she was born, she had no heartbeat for the first five minutes, and didn’t breathe for the first eleven minutes. Her outlook was very bad. My Ob and the neonatologist said that she wasn’t going to make it. She ended up in the NICU for three and a half weeks. Not only did she live, she ended up without any brain damage. I just wanted to let you guys know that even though we don’t know each other, all of you are in my thoughts.

  64. Allison Knotts June 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    I was directed to your site from a friend with triplets’ blog. I don’t even know you but will be praying hard for you. A coworker of mine had one of her triplets at 22 weeks then had the other 2 a month later. While the kids do have some challenges, they are all doing well, so miracles do happen. Through God, all things are possible.

    Allison

  65. April June 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm #

    You don’t know me, but I’m a labor and delivery nurse and I see miracles all the time. Keep strong and don’t let them convince you that a miracle isn’t possible. Sacs do close, women do remain infection free, and you can bring these babies into the world happy and healthy. In a high risk nicu we are seeing babies born at 23 weeks and surviving. Keep the faith and I’ll be prayin for you.

  66. kim June 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    god bless all five of you……..

  67. Sarah June 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    I continue to pray for you all. I have learned to never give up hope.

  68. David Sommer June 2, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    I’ve been following your blog for awhile now just because you guys are so fun. I’m excited about your blessing for triplets and am praying for you… Today at work we kicked off a United Way campaign and it featured a team member who’s wife had twins at 26w. Both have CP, but they survived and are the cutest little boys. Miracles do happen and they will for you.

  69. Lisa Fawcett June 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Jer, I am SO praying for you guys! And asking others to also. I absolutely believe that our GREAT and MIGHTY God is all-powerful and all-loving. He’s got your back, and I’m praying and hoping for a miracle!

  70. Roxanne Bayard June 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    Keeping you and your family in my thoughts, checking back all the time for updates. Remain strong, those little guys have a lot of people pulling for them! I am reminded of a song when I think of your family, its called “When you believe” by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. You should listen to it. These little boys have already beaten the odds by spontaneous triplets, and they will beat the odds once again!

    There can be miracles, when you believe
    Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill
    Who knows what miracles you can achieve
    When you believe, somehow you will
    You will when you believe

  71. Stacey Gagnon June 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    Praying and crying out to our God that he will seal those babies back in your womb. I WILL HOPE!!!! right beside all five of you.

  72. Crunchy Babe June 2, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    I am praying!

    “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19

  73. Molly Detweiler June 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm #

    Jeremy and Carey: This comes from a friend of our family who has joined in praying for you. I hope it encourages you. We are all praying for that miracle!

    From Becky Abel:
    We know the God of miracles. He did one for us when I was pregnant with Elijah and was told that the placenta previa would not move due to the placenta being on the back wall of the uterus….0% chance the doctor said…only a miracle could… change this situation. Lots of people prayed. Children who had no idea what a placenta or a cervix even was. God heard and did a miracle. One month before the birth the placenta had completely moved up my back and off of the cervix. If He can do a 0% chance miracle, He can definitely do this miracle! I’m praying for a miracle!

  74. Jill Hanna-Yoder June 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm #

    Praying for your precious family! Hoping for that 1% what an awesome testimony that’d be!!

  75. Sally Fry June 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm #

    I am sending a huge prayer your way. I personally feel your uncertainty because I experienced amniotic sac rupture during my first pregnancy 29 years ago. While I was not carrying triplets (only a singleton) I was told my baby wold be born alive and die in front of my eyes or be born possibly severely handicapped. Well, guess I was very lucky (in that 1% group) and delivered my son only a week prior to his due date and he was “perfect”. Sometimes we can not explain why..but we can believe and hope. And yes, miracles do happen! I am wishing the best for you and your babies!

  76. Chloe June 2, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

    No one should ever be presented a decision like this. It’s a terrible, unfair thing. Try to take comfort in whatever you can – your family and friends, your faith. For me and my husband, our greatest strength came from each other. I am hoping for the best possible outcome for the five of you.

  77. Kari Frazier June 2, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    Hello,
    I am 23 weeks with spontaneous triplets and I have been following your blog. I am feeling so deeply for you 5 right now. I hope for the best for all of you. I will share a short story, I do not have all the details but here goes. I know a local mom whose water broke at 15 weeks. The fetus was able to get surrounding fluid and make it all the way to delivery. I am not sure when she delivered, but it was early. The babies were in the hospital for 3 months, I think. Out of the triplets 2 are fine and one is hearing impaired. Those are the only details I know. I will forward her your blog and hope she has time to get in touch with you to share more.

    Remember a second opinion is often good to get. Maybe from the director of perinatology if you have not yet gotten one.

    These are difficult times for you. Know you are supported and thought of often. I wish you all the best and hope for the miracle you seek!

    With peace,

    Kari

  78. Erin Burtoft June 2, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    I am so encouraged by these posts! I am crying my eyes out as I read about all of these miracles. Thank you for posting, Jer. Look at what an amazing response you have gotten. There IS hope. We must believe in God, and these little boys. I have a feeling that they’re fighters…

  79. heather g June 2, 2011 at 6:54 pm #

    Hi guys, I came across your blog via a facebook link from a mutual friend/Grace grad. I am joining the masses in lifting the five of you up to His throne. Praying for the two of you to have wisdom and peace. He is faithful. Praying, praying, praying!

  80. Jen Mawson June 2, 2011 at 6:58 pm #

    Saw your blog on a friend’s Facebook page. My heart goes out to you, and I’m praying for you – and hoping with you.

  81. Aaron Crabtree June 2, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

    Jer/Car,
    praying desperately for the five of you here…

    we were so excited to hear the news a few weeks ago… have enjoyed the blog and updates…we now share your fear, helplessness, and HOPE.

    Praying for unexplainable peace in your hearts, unity and connection between the two of you throughout, incredible wisdom for your caregivers, and for miracles upon miracles.

    Faith, hope, love,
    The Crabtrees

  82. Ruth June 2, 2011 at 7:13 pm #

    I am holding you up in prayer. I attended Grace as well, and my husband and I have twin boys (naturally). I was continually considered “high-risk” throughout the entire pregnancy. I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. They were early, but they are 18-months-old and thriving! God is mighty and can work miracles! Praying for you!

  83. Julie June 2, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

    May God hold you all in the palm of his hand!

  84. Amy June 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    Heard about your story on Facebook, don’t know you but I’m praying for you. We’ve been in a similar place with twins @ 21.5 weeks. I believe in God and I believe in prayer. I believe he loves you and your children.

  85. Michael June 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm #

    J & C,

    Cara forwarded me your latest update, and I wanted to let you both know that we’re crossing our fingers for all of you.

    best,
    –mT

  86. Jennifer Spencer June 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

    Miricales do happen just keep faith. Our prayers are with you.

  87. ashleigh dean June 2, 2011 at 7:32 pm #

    Praying from Grand Rapids, Michigan!

  88. Malissa June 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm #

    Just wanted to send a quick note although we do not know each other. I delivered my son at 26 1/2 weeks. He was taken to another hospital that had a NICU, when I was finally released and able to see him on day 3, I was told everything medically possible had been done for him (he suffered a pulmonary hemmorage) and would we like him to be blessed. Of course we did and after he was blessed things changed. We were told our son would never walk, talk or know us. Today he is almost 12. He counted in 2 languages before English, at 2 his favorite word was “infrastructure”. Brandon has some fine motor skill problems, other than that you can not tell what a rough start he had. Continue to hold hope.

  89. Tami June 2, 2011 at 7:48 pm #

    I send my love and prayers to you tonight. I hope you can both get some rest (which in and of itself would be a miracle).

  90. Sonjia (Warner) Menches June 2, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

    I’m not quite sure what to say, but I am grateful that you are sharing everything with us. By letting us know exactly what is going on, gives us a sense of just how specific we can be when praying for you. God is still in the business of performing miracles and that’s exactly what I will ask for! I pray that you continue to feel the love and comfort of all those who are “fighting” with you. Much love…Sonjia

  91. helen June 2, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    i will be thinking about you all and sending all the best i can. reposting your story on fb so it can reach more people.

  92. Natalie Gordon June 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    I wish you love, prayers and hope from Vancouver.

  93. Jenny Lovette June 2, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    We are praying for you Jeremy & Carey. I have passed it on to those I KNOW are praying people. You are being covered in prayer…love you guys–all FIVE!

    “but those who hope in the LORD
    will renew their strength.
    They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.”
    Isaiah 40:30

  94. Katrina June 2, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    Our God is Mighty to Save and I am praying for your family and those three precious baby boys growing in your womb. Our Lord Jesus is the greatest Physician and He who has the whole world in His hands, holds those babies closer to His heart than even you Carey.
    Praying and looking for updates.

  95. Jamie Judy June 2, 2011 at 8:06 pm #

    As a mother of triplets myself, I know the dangers of being pregnant with them and the risks. Please have faith in God and know that He is with you. I will be praying for you all.

  96. Aubrey June 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    Came here via a friend from facebook – I will be praying for all of you. A good friend I work with actually had her water break at 16(!!) weeks, went on bedrest and ended up delivering a girl around 27 or 28 weeks. Of course she had a NICU stay, but her daughter has done really well and seems to be developing fairly normally so far.

    God is good.

  97. Sarah June 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    My heart goes out to you. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

  98. Laney June 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    I’m praying for that miracle! I’ve really enjoyed your blog and following your story. I’m a triplet mom too and have heard so many miracle stories. there’s certainly hope!

  99. Brenda L. daly June 2, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

    God Bless all of you and take care of you. Praying for this.

  100. Nicole June 2, 2011 at 8:37 pm #

    May God give you His peace, comfort and strength today. I am confident that He is already using your boys to touch the hearts of many people. I am praying for you all! Love, Nicole

  101. akismet-45005ca12871fba85e78f238bf3f3357 June 2, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    Hi – another mom who reads this blog (Kari, above, thanks Kari) pointed me to it. I haven’t even read your whole post, but I needed to respond, because when I was in the same situation with PROM at 15 weeks with my identical triplet girls (so same blood supply, an added complication) at 15 weeks, I was given very little hope and I wanted to say there IS hope. Because of the situation with the shared placenta/chorionic sac/blood supply, they gave my little girl with the rupture less than a 2% survival chance and if that, she would live a damaged life. My other two had about a 6% chance. So. I just watched my 8-year-old triplet girls put on a Fine Arts performance in their 2nd grade class that knocked my socks off. They are (all three) alive, thriving, healthy, strong, charming, smart and doing extremely well. Yes my one PROM baby is deaf as Kari mentioned, probably because of the extended ventilation and oxygen and meds that she needed to stay alive with very small lungs, but with cochlear implants, she is doing extremely well, age-appropriate, totally oral. No CP, no asthma, no other issues. I won’t kid you, it was NOT an easy road and involved a very medically intense couple of years, but we made it, despite all the doctors telling me to terminate my pregnancy. I know it sounds impossible to believe a good outcome is possible when you hear all the doctors tell you (and they are right in that it’s very serious indeed, but there’s something about triplets/multiples that can help keep you pregnant when it is harder for a singleton – all the hormones help, plus siblings can help too – see below), but I know several other children who also made it after early PROM.

    I’m happy to talk more with you on the phone or in email (can you find me through this comment, I wonder? I’ll see if I can find you) but my biggest advice is to talk to your baby A, and to your Baby B and C. This is what I did: I told Baby A not to be scared, told her what happened, and explained that it is vital that she position her head to practice breathing in the fluid to grow his or her lungs. That is job one for that baby. Make more fluid, find it with his or her mouth, and practice breathing to grow lungs. Rest, grow, get bigger, get stronger. Baby B and C for me were my backup crew. I told them that I needed them to protect their sister, and it’s hard to believe, but within a few days, Baby C became Baby A, Baby A moved over to the side where Baby C’s head suddenly blocked my cervix, and Baby B moved up and became Baby C to make room on my side. Miracle for sure, never resealed, never great amnio fluid pockets but way better than before. They just shifted, but I was really explicit about what they needed to do. I’m a labor/birth doula, and babies DO have ability to communicate with their mom if you send them the intentions and the thoughts – I’ve seen it so often in labor when mom will “just know” what her baby needs. You know too. If your baby is a fighter (and he or she will have to be), then you will know it. Find out what the “ideal” is from the doctors and communicate it to your babies in very clear terms. This is a great time to follow your mama instincts!!!

    The other thing is – IF you decide to continue with your pregnancy (and it’s sensible to really consider this, given that the outcome is very uncertain for all three) tell your doctors you want to be treated as though this can have a good ending. They will know the odds, but that doesn’t mean you won’t beat them. You can know what you’re up against without falling into a trap of despair. Unfortunately I’ve known families for whom this is not a good ending, but you won’t make it as far as you can go if your doctors aren’t on your side in trying, if you want to try (and it sounds as if you do). So rally your team and ask them to make decisions that will help you save your little one(s) with your best decisions in teamwork with your doctors. My own (and yours might be different) philosophy was that I wasn’t doing anything early. If there was an indication of a problem, temperature or signs of infection, we’d deal with it when it came, but I didn’t want to proactively do anything that would hurt the babies if they were going to live, and again, I told them straight up that I knew they thought I was delusional but I had a good feeling and needed them to honor my mother’s instincts. So you communicate what yours are telling you.

    Will you be on bedrest?

    And, for what it’s worth, I leaked the whole time. My baby’s sac did not reseal, but my baby who dropped down helped a lot to collect the fluid. The power of a triplet team! My kids now have that as part of their birth story/triplet story that they tell. They all know they worked as a team in utero to help save my baby A. It’s rather sweet, actually.

    And that’s about it … glad to see you have so much support. Email me or post back if you want more details. Best of luck to you – my heart goes out to you. I do know how you feel, and it’s overwhelming.

  102. Michelle June 2, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    Praying from Fort Myers, FL

  103. Gypsy June 2, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    Praying for your miracle and more.

  104. Veronica June 2, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    I am not a dr, but a mother of premature 24 weeker twins. When I was on bed rest with a lot different circumstances, a nurse told me they were able to circulate fluid through an iv sort of system into the sac of a premature baby for several months to buy additional time before delivery. Now I don’t know the details and I’m sure if it was a possibility the dr would have mentioned it, but thought it might be worth mentioning in such circumstances. I will certainly keep you in our prayers. There is hope, have faith. Through Him, who gives us strength, all things are possible.

  105. Rachel (Foulk) Lehman June 2, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    God brings you guys to mind all day long (since we are in Asia that is your night!) Now I know to pray specifically that precious Baby A’s sac would seal off and fill with fluid again. I thank God that His mercies are new every morning and am praying you will be strengthened daily with his peace, rest, hope and joy. With much love, Rachel

  106. Adrienne Freas June 2, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    I am friends with Lisa Fawcett on Facebook and she posted this link. I am going to be praying. I wanted to encourage you to GO HOME!!! Her risk for infection with DECREASE drastically if she is at HOME!

  107. Hannah June 2, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

    I first read about you guys through the multiples site and have enjoyed reading your blog. I’m currently pregnant with twins. Just wanted to say that I’ve been so inspired by your story and by the outpouring of support. We are definitely sending you lots of prayers and positive healing thoughts.

  108. Bridgette Blake (Konopka) June 2, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

    Oh Jeremy and Carey,…my heart is aching!! Please know i will be praying diligently, with GREAT HOPE in my heart! I will also send this to my church and other friends and family. Sooo many thoughts and feelings i have right now….i don’t know how to express!! May God’s peace, that transcends all understanding cover you all right now…all 5 of you. May you have 3 healthy baby boys. Much love.

  109. Ryan Gillaspie June 2, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    Keeping you five in our prayers…keep it all positive.

  110. Katie June 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    I found your blog through a friend’s facebook link. I don’t know you or even where you live, but I wanted to encourage you and let you know that I am praying for you and your little boys. God will work a miracle!

  111. Dan Eshleman June 2, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    Amy and I are praying for all 5 of you! I wish we could take the hurt, the pain, the frustration, doubt, fears, and tears away. But we can’t. We know God can and we trust you will see his grace, love, protection, and arms of strength every moment of every day.

  112. Julia valdez June 2, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Praying for you guys and your three little babies!

  113. stephanie June 3, 2011 at 2:51 am #

    Praying for you here in CA.

  114. Caitlin June 3, 2011 at 3:17 am #

    I came across your blog a little while ago and love it and have been wanting to return. But dear me, this is not what I would have ever wanted to read.

    However, despite the feeling of despair, I know that 1%’s can come true, and I am joining the hundred’s in prayer and hope for you. (Heb. 11:1)

  115. Lesley Biller June 3, 2011 at 4:22 am #

    I’m praying for you and your precious babies. Thank you for supporting life and trusting God.

  116. Kelley McIntosh June 3, 2011 at 4:26 am #

    I just read your post & felt sad that you are going through such a difficult,challenging thing with your precious babies.I believe in a God who heals & saves.I prayed for you both & your triplets.I pray for a miracle-that Baby A’s sac heals by itself & refills.God loves you all so much.I pray for God’s peace,strength & comfort for you & I’m beleieving for 3 healthy babies.

  117. Jon & Daisy Austin June 3, 2011 at 5:01 am #

    We just saw this blog thanks to a post on Facebook by Angela (Ogden) Dephouse. We will definitely be praying and we believe whole-heartedly in the God of miracles and grace! I have a couple of friends with very premature babies who are all growing strong and healthy, there is ALWAYS hope!

    Jon & Daisy Austin (fellow Grace graduates!)

  118. Cara June 3, 2011 at 5:28 am #

    All five of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  119. kirsten June 3, 2011 at 5:58 am #

    praying for you guys and hoping with you.

  120. carole June 3, 2011 at 5:59 am #

    I heard about you from a friend on Facebook. I’m praying for you in Cincinnati. I’m praying for a miracle for you all and the babies and that God will give you His strength and love and His wisdom and power to make it through this difficult time!

  121. Ginger June 3, 2011 at 6:06 am #

    I saw your blog via a friend on FB. Prayers are being said for you in Kansas City. May God bless you, your family, and your faithfulness to Him.

  122. Tonya Shriver June 3, 2011 at 6:22 am #

    I know miracles can and do happen. My 3-year-old and I are a miracle. I also know that sometimes the miracles don’t turn out the way we expect and no matter what happens with the three precious lives inside your wife’s body, God will be with you all and He will reveal Himself to you in His perfect time.

  123. Jessica June 3, 2011 at 6:24 am #

    I had tripets with a PPROM on Baby C at 24 weeks. I did reseal and held on until 29 weeks, 5 days.

    If you need to talk, you have my email.

  124. Bob W. June 3, 2011 at 6:51 am #

    There is an old Jewish saying: “In a mothers womb, man knows the universe. In birth he forgets”. Try to rest in the assurance that at this moment in time, your children are aware and know better what to do than any of us. Trust them and trust yourselves. Your are in my thoughts. I will continue to keep the five of you in the light and “hope”. My love to you all.

  125. Ang June 3, 2011 at 7:10 am #

    Prayers from my family as well.

    My oldest son’s sac ruptured at almost 2 months premature….they kept me in the hospital with only bathroom priveledges for about 3 weeks. The tear partially healed itself, but did leak every time I stood up. When the chance of infection became to great they induced me. My son is now preparing to turn 13 yrs old.

  126. Shelly June 3, 2011 at 7:17 am #

    A wonderful friend of mine, who is also the mother of triplets, posted your blog on Facebook and I have tears for you. The Lord is a amazing God and He will bring your family comfort during the amazingly difficult time. I will lift your family up in prayer continue to “hope” for you!

  127. Allison Wunderland June 3, 2011 at 7:49 am #

    Mom said to tell you she’s praying for you too!

  128. StayatHomeTripletDad June 3, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    OK… I bet you need a laugh or at least a giggle or smerk…

    I have been telling our prayer warriors about you all. But every time I say “Jeremy Bear” it feels like a term of endearment like we are dating:) lol Hope it made you laugh as it does me each and every time. Prayers still headed your way.

    Keep the faith,

    Al

  129. Claire June 3, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    Hello,
    I was sent your blog by a friend who asked me to reach out to you with my story and with hope and prayers.

    Please be careful reading my story. My situation wasn’t exactly like yours…in some ways, our situation was MUCH MUCH worse (prognostically) because my twin A ruptured membranes at 11 weeks, 10 weeks before you. But, on the other hand, I wasn’t contracting and my cervix remained closed. So…no case is exactly alike. But your post was about hoping against the odds. And I can certainly share my experience with that.

    I will tell you upfront that it has a happy ending…so hopefully the scary parts that relate to your story will seem more hopeful than “doom & gloom”…because my story is EVIDENCE that your situation isn’t necessarily “doom and gloom”. I AM that family that you refer to…the “one in a million that it happens to”. Your babies are fighters…believe in them.

    I love the saying “Where there is life, there IS hope.” That could not be more true.

    In September ’09, I was just under 11 weeks pregnant with twins. I went in for an ultrasound and it showed (after a perfect ultrasound just one week prior) that Baby A’s sac had ruptured completely and that he was diagnosed as “anhydramniotic” (NO fluid, not low fluid which would be “oligohydramniotic”). I was so early that I didn’t even know my water had broken…it probably happened while sleeping or showering or going to the bathroom and I didn’t even notice.

    My husband and I were told, in no uncertain terms, that there was 0% chance that the pregnancy was viable. They said they were very sorry, and that they recommended that we terminate and “start over”. (Their exact words). I begged them to give me ANY CHANCE for Baby B to survive. They explained to me the exact same thing you so eloquently explained above…basically, that since I was ruptured and since it was Baby A (directly over my cervix, in my case) that infection was a certainty. They said “It’s not a matter of IF you develop an infection, but merely WHEN.” They hypothesized that I’d miscarry in a few days and recommended a D&C. We turned them down.

    They then explained that, even IF the pregnancy somehow made it to viability (which, again, they said was basically impossible b/c of infection), that Baby A would either die in utero beforehand (thereby increasing the chance of infection b/c of dead fetal tissue lying directly on the cervix) or that Baby A would die within minutes of birth because his lungs wouldn’t develop at all beyond this point, due to lack of fluid. As I’m sure they’ve explained to you, babies lung tissue develops as they breathe in the amniotic fluid…the fluid somehow helps the lungs develop “pockets” that, after birth, are able to absorb oxygen. They said it’s like a sponge…the sponge has to have these pockets to absorb water. Without amniotic fluid, they explained that Baby A’s lungs would be like a dry sponge…they wouldn’t be able to contract and expand like healthy lungs, and therefore he wouldn’t be able to breathe. They also explained that they wouldn’t likely be able to resuscitate him at birth, because these “rock hard” lungs don’t allow doctors to intubate, or even if they can intubate, the ventilator can’t ventilate oxygen to lungs that won’t expand and contract.

    So the prognosis was that 99.9% we would get an infection and lose both babies before viability. The *only* hope they gave us was that, if for some reason that didn’t happen and we made it(still pregnant) to 24 weeks, they might be able to save Baby B, but definitely not Baby A.

    They wouldn’t even hospitalize me (unless we were terminating the pregnancy) because they said that it would be unethical to hospitalize me for a pregnancy that could not possibly reach viability.

    So I went home and put myself on, basically, modified bedrest. I remained working (I sit all day as a psychotherapist) and laid on the couch at night. Anywhere we went, I went in a wheelchair that was loaned to us. I drank as much water as I possibly could (at least 2 gallons a day) despite being told that nothing like that would help. (I still think it did). I ate as much as I could, trying to put on weight.

    We went in weekly for ultrasounds. Each week, our hearts would skip several beats as they put the wand on my belly…hoping and praying to see heartbeats, but fearing the worst (I was also continuously leaking fluid throughout). But each week, there they BOTH were…growing and hearts beating away. Baby A looked like he was wrapped in Saran Wrap, just like you describe. Each week, Baby A had no fluid at all (the most they ever could measure was .3 cm. — 3/10ths of a centimeter!) Baby B continued to be healthy and happy (and we soon found out that he was a boy!) Baby A’s gender was impossible to determine, since, as you know, it’s hard to distinguish anything about the baby on ultrasound without the amniotic fluid surrounding them.

    Each week my doctors would sit and argue about how it was possible that (1) I was still pregnant, that (2) I hadn’t yet developed an infection, and that (3) Baby A was continuing to grow (seemingly) normally. They said that they’d never seen or heard of another case of first trimester rupture that didn’t result in total pregnancy loss.

    All this time, my motto was “Where there is life, there is hope.” Out of necessity, I basically stopped listening to the doctors’ predictions of gloom. I am a VERY rational and reasonable person, so I understood FULLY the realities of the situation. I did. I just couldn’t hold those realities in the forefront of my brain all the time while remaining pregnant AND sane. For my sanity, I chose hope.

    I talked to my babies, sang to them, prayed with them, rubbed my belly, loved them like crazy. I also had the very bizarre experience of preparing for 2 babies while fully recognizing that I would be lucky to even bring home 1 baby…but all the while hoping against all hope that *somehow* my babies would survive against all odds. (And since your water didn’t break until 21 weeks, your Baby A has a REAL chance of survival, since his/her lungs have had fluid to develop up until this point!! YEA!!)

    Around 20 weeks, they determined that I was close enough to viability to warrant taking a risk on me. So they put me in the hospital on full bedrest, with rupture protocol (e.g. no pants, gown or nighty only, no undergarmets — all infection risks) I was actually more scared at this point, I think, because I was so scared of having babies born SO prematurely and suffering from life-long devastating illnesses…as I have said, I’m a very realistic person, and I didn’t want that for my children. But I also couldn’t bear the thought of losing them. I just cried, prayed, tried to laugh, tried to distract myself, watched TV, talked to friends…anything to keep my mind off of possibly losing my babies.

    At 24 weeks, I got the beta methazone shot (steroids to help the babies’ lungs develop). We also had a NICU consultation, to explain the consequences associated with babies born at each gestational week.

    At this point, Baby A’s sac had been ruptured for 13 weeks. That’s more than 3 months…and no signs of infection!! (When they hospitalized me, they put me on IV antibiotics just as a precaution, that ran a 10 day course I think?)

    Anyway, I just kept living day by day. We used the hospital white board to keep a daily countdown until the next “week” (e.g. 5 days until 25 weeks!!!) My husband and I made a big celebration of the “changing of the white board day” every morning!! I kept drinking as much water as humanly possible and ate literally over 5000 kcal per day, trying desperately to put on as much weight as I could to help the babies grow bigger (and I’m a petite person to begin with, so I had a hard time gaining enough weight). Most important, I think, was that I focused on eating as much fat (good fat) and protein as possible. I REALLY THINK THAT HELPED MY BABIES GROW.

    At 25 weeks, 6 days, exactly 15 weeks after Baby A’s sac was determined as ruptured by ultrasound…I began bleeding heavily. Up til this point, I had had mild bleeding mixed with amniotic fluid leaking, so I didn’t realize, at first, that this was different. I mean, I still didn’t have an infection (and, by the way, I never got one).

    But the medical staff acted like it was an emergency and I was brought to L&D for “emergency C-section”. I refused, because I was panicked…the babies were still too early and also, honestly, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my Baby A and hold him as he died. I just wasn’t ready to let him go…and I was now, additionally afraid of losing Baby B too because 25 weeks is still pretty early. However, they told me that due to 15 weeks without fluid, Baby A’s placenta was just giving up and had begun to separate from the uterine wall. They quickly explained that I would bleed out and all of us would die if we didn’t deliver, so I signed the consent and sobbed as they rolled me into delivery. I remember saying to my husband “I can’t believe we’re about to lose our baby…I can’t believe my baby’s about to die.” It was horrible. My sister is an L&D nurse at the hospital (THANK GOD!!), and she was in the delivery room with me & hubby. She just kept telling me “Just pray, just pray” but at that point, I couldn’t even pray…I was in shock, I think. The sweet anesthesiologist said “Well then, I can pray for you” and put his head down by mine and said a “Hail Mary” with me. Typing that *STILL* brings tears to my eyes. What an incredible doctor.

    Babies were born very quickly. Baby A was first, obviously, and they did try to work on him…they tried hard. However, the neonatologist came over to my husband and said “He’s coding (meaning his heart rate is very low due to lack of oxygen), and we’re doing chest compressions, but we can’t go on like this forever…what do you want us to do?” My husband said to try a bit longer, and then…let him go.

    Somehow, somehow, somehow…they managed to intubate him and get his heartrate back up (brought him out of the code). They rushed him to the NICU…I didn’t even get to see him first. My husband followed.

    Baby B was also intubated and rushed to the NICU. Neither baby had cried, and I hadn’t seen either baby, so I was just panicked. I think, to prevent shock, they put me under so I fell asleep.

    When I came to, I remember seeing my sister crying and the fist thing I thought was that Baby A had died and that I had missed my chance to hold him alive. 😦 I started crying and said “He’s gone, isn’t he?”

    Her smile couldn’t have been bigger. “No Claire, he’s alive…he’s very critical, but he’s alive and he’s in the NICU. They’re both alive.”

    I’m crying typing this because it just brings that day back. All the fear, all the horror, all the grief, all the joy. It was just indescribable. And to hear of any other family going through something similar just BREAKS MY HEART IN TWO.

    The NICU was amazing medically and horrible (for me) psychologically. The babies were extremely critical…Baby A wasn’t expected to survive the first 24 hours, and even if he did, we were told he’d have such massive brain damage from the code that he would either die from that or that he’d be extremely disabled. The fear just never ended.

    I won’t get into the whole NICU experience, because that’s something you shouldn’t focus on yet…focus on your babies. WHEN they are born alive, email me and I’d be honored to be a resource for “What to Expect when you’re Expecting Micropreemies” (not as popular as most of the “What to Expect” books, but far more useful in our cases).

    However, the fantastic, amazing and miraculous ending to our story is…today, my twin boys are healthy and happy 17 month old terrors!!! (13 months when you adjust for their prematurity). They weigh 25 lbs. EACH and believe me, if you saw them, you wouldn’t believe they were the same boys I am writing about above. They are incredible fighters, and I’m so glad that I had the courage to have faith and hope for them.

    It takes real courage to have hope in a situation that you are told is basically “hopeless”. It takes REAL courage to hope…when you know that the reality is that your world could come crashing down around that hope. When you know that, in all likelihood, it WILL come crashing down. But hope is just that…it’s HOPE. There is *no such thing* as false hope, because hope is above the sphere of “true/false”…hope is like faith. It just IS.

    I have tremendous hope for you, your family, and especially those precious babies growing inside of you. Talk to them, beg them to stay with you, pray with them, sing to them. Love them every single second you have them.

    Which, I am VERY VERY hopeful will be for many, MANY years.

    Please email me if you need anything. Parents like us have to stick together.

    With much hope, love, faith, and countless prayers,

    Claire

  130. Cindy June 3, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Praying for you and the babies.

  131. montanasherryc June 3, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    Hi, a friend of mine in Michigan posted a link to this on his facebook and our hearts are touched by your difficult situation. My kids (ages 14 and 11) and I are praying for your family today–that you would find peace in the midst of these crazy difficult circumstances.

  132. Erin June 3, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Many prayers coming your way!

  133. Tammy June 3, 2011 at 10:03 am #

    Praying.

  134. Katie June 3, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    My son, Ian, is one of those 1%! The tear in my membrane sealed over and he was delivered full term. My prayers are with your boys and you.

  135. Jennifer June 3, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    I was told about your story from a friend on Facebook. I don’t know either of you, but I am praying. I’m a mother myself and my fluid drained extremely fast and they were concerned for my son as well. It wasn’t as severe as your situation, but I do know miracles happen and with all the prayers and blessings you’ve been receiving and continue to receive, it will happen. May God be with all 5 of you.

  136. Melissa June 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    Keep hope. We’re all praying for you and your boys.

  137. Beth Giles June 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    Hi Jeremy and Carey,

    I’m Pat and Jerry’s daughter-in-law, we met at your life group BBQ a few weeks ago. They told me what’s been happening and my heart is torn for you. What an impossible situation. I pray that God would provide hope and answers. In fact, I will say a prayer for you right now on this blog! “Dear Jesus, God of the impossible, the God who turned water into wine and raised Lazarus from the dead. These boys are yours, you knit them in Carey’s womb and you hold them in your hands. We ask that you would allow them to live and that they would be healthy. We want Carey and Jeremy to be able to change their diapers and rock them to sleep. I want to see them running down the hall at church. Please Jesus, work a miracle. Only you know what the future holds and we are at your knees.” We will continue to pray for you.

    All our love,
    Beth, Jeff and Ruby

  138. Brooke June 3, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

    Praying for mom, dad, and your 3 little guys.

  139. Jeff McC June 3, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    Hang in there, try to stay positive and remember that sometimes people do beat the odds. My family and I are hoping along with you!

  140. Susan June 3, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    praying.

  141. susannah June 3, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    Oh, God be with you and those precious babies. I am HOPING and PRAYING that the 1% chance can happen to you. Blessed is His name.
    Thoughts and Prayers from Atlanta, Georgia

  142. Mandy June 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm #

    I’m praying for you all – “He will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast; because he trusts in Him”

    Praying.

  143. Prayer Warrior June 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    The love and hope in your two beautiful faces speaks volumes of how blessed these 3 boys are to have you for parents. With my heart, spirit and breaths I am praying for God to provide your children and you whatever you each need for health, life and to thrive.
    He wants to be your God, your Source and life and show His great love through you to His children He is creating through you. You have our earnest, continued prayers.

  144. Long June 3, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    I pray that everything will turn out for the best for you and your family. That 1% mean a lot. I was once in your shoe. My water rupture at 22 weeks. It kept on leaking for almost a week and a miracle did happen. It sealed up by the middle of the second week and I made it to full term. So I will pray and continue to pray for you and your family.

  145. Carolyn June 4, 2011 at 6:30 am #

    Though you don’t know me, I was so touched by your story. I pray God will keep your precious wife and babies safe.

  146. Kara Malone June 4, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    Just saw your blog posted on a frds fbook here in TN. Praying big prayers for you this Sat morning!
    Kara

  147. Amy van kleeck June 5, 2011 at 4:49 am #

    Praying and crying form you at the same time. Different situation, but I know your pain.
    Your babies and both of you will be in my prayers today. I am so in hopes that you have your miracle. – Amy

  148. Amy van kleeck June 5, 2011 at 5:13 am #

    I am so sorry that my post on praying for you came after the triplets had gone on to heaven. I just found an update on a facebook friend’s page. I am praying differently now…but with deeper understanding of your pain. Maybe you will be stronger than I was when we walked thru stillbirth. But if you need a total stranger with a big, aching heart to unload on – I am here. You can find me to private message on facebook. Or emaiL me at amy_vankleeck@yahoo.com

    I offer this because I got thru our loss with many late night blog posts at a stillbirth site full of strangers. I found it easier to expose my deep grief and my soul to strangers. Lean on each other, share your pain together. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, picture his tender, loving, molding hands around you… and breath. Praying earnestly for you. -Amy

  149. Yelena and Tom June 5, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Just wanted to let you know that I heard about your heartache via Sharon. It has to be hard but I appreciate the pro life point of view you have. We were the same way with our little boy Chandler. He past after being born at 38 weeks. We did all the same things giving him and the holy father a chance to beat the odds. Sadly, we was needed in heaven more than here. My heart goes to you both and know that you made the right choice by respecting life. All our heartfelt love and sympathy.
    Tom and Yelena…

  150. Jennifer Anaya August 18, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

    I PROM’ed last Friday at 17 weeks. We prayed and prayed that our boys would survive but sadly they did not . I was expecting identical triplet boys. The doctor told me one baby was in the cervix and most likely was not alive anymore, there was a small possibility he was, the other two ‘s heartbeats were still going however the next morning I went into labor and delivered all 3 :’

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Please pray for a couple expecting Triplets | Stay at Home Triplet Dad - June 2, 2011

    […] A fellow blogger, dare I say friend, is having a VERY tough go of things (HUGE understatement) with their pregnancy.  His wife’s water broke this past Tuesday, at 21 weeks.  Here is their latest post, “We Can Hope.” […]

  2. Top Posts — WordPress.com - June 3, 2011

    […] “We Can Hope” Needless to say, we’ve been waiting in the eye of a mighty whirlwind since Carey’s water broke a couple of nights ago […] […]

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